Harry Potter and the Moving Pictures

On The Sidelines

How did Lupin spend the majority of Order of the Phoenix? Well, had it been a movie, he may have looked like this...

Image © 2003 Tealin

** = post-HBP
*** = post-DH

A Dark Lord Is Born Copyright 2004 by The Dark Evil One; Cut Cut Cut!, Dumbledore Is a Hippie, Explain the Marauders/Who the Hell Are They?, Hobo, I'm A Supergirl, Moustache, A Silly Dumb Ron and The Werewolf of the Shrieking Shack Copyright 2004, 2005 by RJ Lupin; Act Magically and She's Not There Copyright 2004, 2005 by Jason LeBouef; Director and We'll Hide It in There Copyright 2005, 2009 by The Final Stillness of Saturn; No Elves Copyright 2005 by Caius Marcius

A filk by RJ Lupin to the tune of Crazy by Britney Spears

This song was written a while ago when I was very upset about David Thewlis wearing a moustache. A few lines in the verses don't match up exactly, but hey, who can beat a song against that moustache? :)

Remus
You're such a nice one
You're so smart and your homework's always done
Remus
So you're a lycanthrope
It's totally cool though, that's why I don't grope

But let me get right to the case
And don't you tell me that I'm way off base
What really drives me out of space
Is that stupid frickin' moustache on your face!

It drives me crazy
I just can't sleep
That moustache on you
It makes me freak
Oh, Crazy
The moustache isn't right
I'm hopin' that you will shave it right off tonight

Remus
I know this at least
Every full moon you transform into a beast
Remus
This question seems fair
If you become a hairy wolf then why do you want more hair?

What really drives me out of space
Is that stupid frickin' moustache on your face!

It drives me crazy
I just can't sleep
That moustache on you
It makes me freak
Oh, Crazy
The moustache isn't right
I'm hopin' that you will shave it right off tonight
I'm hopin' that you will shave it right off tonight

A filk by R.J. Lupin to the tune of Come on Over by Christina Aguilera.

You'll notice that all my PoA songs go to annoying songs in the 90s. That's just because everyone knows them, so you should be able to sing along, and sing it in line for PoA, or whatever.

This song is about how there was no explanation about MWPP, and so everyone ended up confused. Harry sings it, being that he should have been the most confused (although he seems to just understand everything in the movie).

HARRY
Just explain it, explain the Marauders
Just explain it, explain the Marauders
Just explain it, explain the Marauders
Just explain it, explain the Marauders

Lupin, Sirius, I am totally confused (yes I am)
Fred and George gave me this map, and so by me it's been used (oh yeah)
Lupin, that night you took the map away
You said with it that you could watch my way
So then why do you know just how to work this map?
So do you know

Who the hell are they?
Who are those Marauders?
Who the hell are they?
Just why should we bother?
Who the hell are they?
Seems like you guys might know
You won't explain it though
You're ruining the story
Just explain it now!

Just explain it, explain the Marauders
Just explain it, explain the Marauders

Hey now what's the point of us being in this Shack? (what's it mean?)
Lupin, when you got in here, how'd you do it without scratch?
Why does Snape hate you two guys and my dad?
And me, so just whatis it that got him so mad?
And my Patronus, why should I care it is a stag?
I wanna know

Who the hell are they?
Who are those Marauders?
Who the hell are they?
Just why should we bother?
Who the hell are they?
Seems like you guys might know
You won't explain it though
You're ruining the story
Just explain it now

Just explain it, explain the Marauders
Just explain it, explain the Marauders
Just explain it, explain the Marauders
Just explain it, explain the Marauders
Just explain it

Hey now and why did three
Become Animagi?
Wait, you didn't say that-at-at-aah-aat!

Who the hell are they?
Who the hell are they?
Oh, just why should we bother?
Who the hell are they?
Seems like you guys might know
You won't explain it though
You're ruining the story so
Just it explain it now

Who the hell are they?
Ohhh, who?
Who the hell are they?
Just why should we bother?
Who the hell are they?
Seems like you guys might know
You won't explain it though
You're ruining the story so
Just explain it now!

A filk by R.J. Lupin to the tune of Barbie Girl

This song is about how perfect and Mary-Sueish Hermione was, and how she took Ron's lines and Ron became a wuss.

RON (spoken)
Hey, what's up Hermione?
HERMIONE (spoken)
Hi, Ron
RON (spoken)
Ready for our third year?
HERMIONE (spoken)
Yeah!
RON (spoken)
Wicked

HERMIONE
I'm a supergirl
In a magic world
Hey Mary-Sue
Nearly like you
I'm still always right
And when I'm in a fight
Yes, I'm so perfect
Who else could deserve it?

RON (spoken)
We know you're smart, don't get so cheeky

HERMIONE
I'm a supergirl
In a magic world
Hey Mary-Sue
Nearly like you
I'm still always right
And when I'm in a fight
Yes, I'm so perfect
Who else could deserve it?

Now I'm back, kind of changed
You might say rearranged
'Cause my hair's kind of blonder and curly

RON
You steal lines that are mine
Yeah you're takin' my spot
I was brave but now here's
You and I'm not

HERMIONE
You can beg
But they said
That I can be Girl Power

I'm a supergirl
In a magic world
Hey Mary-Sue
Nearly like you
I'm still always right
And when I'm in a fight
Yes, I'm so perfect
Who else could deserve it?

RON
Yeah, come on Hermy, give my scene back
HERMIONE
Ah ah ah no
RON
Come on, yeah, give my scene back
HERMIONE
Ooh no, ooh no
RON
Yeah, come on Hermy, give my scene back
HERMIONE
Ah ah ah no
RON
Come on, Hermy give my scene back
HERMIONE
Ooh no, ooh no

I wear pink and I think
That I'm everyone's doll
Sirius holds my hand, I give Lupin a call
RON
Harry holds and protects you
But don't you see signs
In our shippy moments
Wish you were mine

HERMIONE
And then I
Punch Draco
And I say that it felt good
But he still
Wags his eye-
-brows at me just like he should
RON (spoken)
Say what, are you gonna steal my line again?
HERMIONE
Ah ah ah yeah
RON (spoken)
Hermione, come on, it's one of my lines that show bravery
HERMIONE
Ooh oh, ooh oh
RON (spoken)
Hermione, come on, I never stole your lines
HERMIONE
Ah ah ah yeah
RON (spoken)
Bloody hell, girls...Hermione, just give it back!
HERMIONE
Ooh no, ooh no

I'm a supergirl
In a magic world
Hey Mary-Sue
Nearly like you
I'm still always right
And when I'm in a fight
Yes, I'm so perfect
Who else could deserve it?

I'm a supergirl
In a magic world
Hey Mary-Sue
Nearly like you
I'm still always right
And when I'm in a fight
Yes, I'm so perfect
Who else could deserve it?

RON
Hey, come on Hermy, give my line back
HERMIONE
Ah ah ah no
RON
Come on, Hermy, give my line back
HERMIONE
Ooh no, ooh no
RON
Come on, Hermy, give my line back
HERMIONE
Ah ah ah no
RON
Come on, Hermy, give my line back
HERMIONE
Ooh no, ooh no

HERMIONE (spoken)
Oh, I'm just so perfect
RON (spoken)
Yes, we know, my line-stealing love
HERMIONE (spoken)
I love you, Ron

A filk by R.J. Lupin to the tune of Lady is a Vamp by the Spice Girls.

This filk is about how Michael Gambon played Dumbledore as a hippie, set again to annoying 90s songs everyone knows.

Dumbledore loves lemon candy
Harris played him real fine and dandy
Always had his wiseman speech
And ideas with which to preach
He knew what to do and think
Had his mischievous wink
Velvet robes his vanity
Expressed personality
We thought he wouldn't be gone
But then Harris, he passed on

That's all in the past, 'cause it's Gambon's chance
And Dumble's kind of changed
He's a hippie guy getting magic by
And he seems a little strange

'Cause the Dumbledore's a dude
And some people think we're screwed
Because he's a lot different and new
Wears a string around his beard, and he seems a little weird
And we wonder what we're gonna do

All his looks were like the book
But now it is not the same, and it all became
Floaty robes that are purple like that
Now he's got a brown old hippie hat
Has a lot of kooky lines
Likes to say them all the time

And it's gonna last cause it's Gambon's chance
And Dumble's kind of change
He's a hippie guy getting magic by
And he seems a little strange

'Cause the Dumbledore's a dude
And some people think we're screwed
Because he's a lot different and new
Wears a string around his beard, and he seems a little weird
And we wonder what we're gonna do

PoA is gonna start, hope it won't tear me apart
It will be like nothing before
Ladies and gents, can you please take your seats
And you'll see new hippie Dumbledore

(spoken)
Care for a lemon drop?

A filk by R.J. Lupin to the tune of Complicated by Avril Lavigne.

Well, of course, after making all those other PoA filks, I had to make one about Sirius looking like a hobo. My friends said it, people here said it, SOFAA especially Joseph said it, so I had to make it. Also, it mentiones that he was quite short compared to David Thewlis. Apologies to Gary Oldman, because in my opinion you were a good Sirius, but you know, the appearence...

Uh huh
Looks like this
Uh huh, Uh huh
That's the way he is
He looks like this
Uh huh, Uh huh
That's the way he is

The third movie came at last
And we all knew that they had cast
Gary Oldman as Sirius B.
How'd he be?

Gary, don't you know you play
A key role in PoA
So we have our expectations, yes
Just be the best

You come onscreen
And you seem so mean
But we learn you're good
You're misunderstood
You're kind and you're irate
Your acting is great, but see
Tell me

Why'd you have to go and look so much like a hobo?
I see you're out of Azkaban, but tell me man, why'd you look like this though?
It's so different
The report is you're short and your hair
Too short there and we care so just promise us that
When you're back Sirius Black is not going to look much like crap
No hobo

Guess we'll have to let it be
That David is six foot three
And you are five foot ten, we just want-
-Ed two tall men

Twelve years you're in prison long
So that short hair seems all wrong
You know that's just how it'd never be
And we can see

You come onscreen
And you seem so mean
But we learn you're good
You're misunderstood
You're kind and you're irate
Your acting is great, but see
Tell me

Why'd you have to go and look so much like a hobo?
I see you're out of Azkaban, but tell me man, why'd you look like this though?
It's so different
The report is you're short and your hair
Too short there and we care so just promise us that
When you're back Sirius Black is not going to look much like crap
No hobo

No hobo
No hobo
No hobo
No

The third movie came at last
And we all knew that they had cast
Gary Oldman as Sirius B.
How'd he be?

You come onscreen
And you seem so mean
But we learn you're good
You're misunderstood
You're kind and you're irate
Your acting is great, be see
Tell me

Why'd you have to go and look so much like a hobo?
I see you're out of Azkaban, but tell me man, why'd you look like this though?
It's so different
The report is you're short and your hair
Too short there and we care so just promise us that
When you're back Sirius Black is not going to look much like crap
Hobo

Why'd you have to go and look so much like a hobo?
I see you're out of Azkaban, but tell me man, why'd you look like this though?
It's so different
The report is you're short and your hair
Too short there and we care so just promise us that
When you're back Sirius Black is not going to look much like crap
No hobo

A filk by R.J. Lupin to the tune of Bye Bye Bye by *NSync (more annoying pop tunes, yay! )

Another one to my list of PoA filks...Now, with the way the Shrieking Shack scene went, I doubt there was a deleted scene where the history of the Marauders and everything was explained...but let's just suppose there was...Why did Alfonso cut it out? Well, that's what this filk is about. Note: When you see the slash symbol ( / ) do not say the word 'slash'. That's just to show on the words what the ship is.

SCENE: The part of the Shrieking Shack scene where Lupin and Sirius explain the Marauders is being filmed. And then, Alfonso decides that he doesn't like it...

ALFONSO
No no
Cut cut cut!
Cut cut!
Cut cut!

DAVID
Why did you say to stop?
I thought this scene was right on top
And nothing like a flop
Alfonso what's wrong?

GARY
Our background story's good
(gestures at Daniel, Rupert and Emma) And they're doin' what they should
But it's not understood:
What did we do wrong?

ALFONSO
It's nothing that you guys have done
Just so you know
It's just that this scene has to go
So I cut cut cut!

DAVID, GARY, DANIEL, RUPERT & EMMA
What, what?

ALFONSO
This bit's boring and there's no subtext
Makes me want to fast forward to what comes next
I direct this
So there ain't no 'but's
'Cause I cut cut cut!
Cut cut!
No Siri/Lupin or Hermy/Ron
Without any shipping a scene can't go on
I direct this
So there ain't no 'but's
'Cause I cut cut cut!

DANIEL
Wait, you can't cut this scene
That would be very wrong and mean
Those who have not read the book
Will be so lost

RUPERT
They're got to understand
The real truth of everything and
EMMA
They learn it there, so cut this
At your cost

ALFONSO
I know that you might need this in
But it's not right
I got to throw this in the bin
So I cut cut cut!

DAVID, GARY, DANIEL, RUPERT & EMMA
What, what?

ALFONSO
This bit's boring and there's no subtext
Makes me want to fast forward to what comes next
I direct this
So there ain't no 'but's
'Cause I cut cut cut!
Cut cut!
No Siri/Lupin or Hermy/Ron
Without any shipping a scene can't go on
I direct this
So there ain't no 'but's
'Cause I cut cut cut!

DAVID, GARY, DANIEL, RUPERT & EMMA
Talking about what they would do
They're explaining the Marauders and just who was who
ALFONSO
Cut cut!
DAVID, GARY, DANIEL, RUPERT & EMMA
The place where viewers get the plot
They are getting information and it is a lot

DANIEL
How could they all be alright
In the shack that night
DAVID, GARY, DANIEL, RUPERT & EMMA
If you cut this scene right now?

ALFONSO
Cut cut cut!

DAVID, GARY, DANIEL, RUPERT & EMMA
Think of the fans this has made
They will feel betrayed
They'll be screaming 'what?!'

ALFONSO (at the same time as the others)
This bit's boring and there's no subtext
Makes me want to fast forward to what comes next
You know I direct this
So they're ain't no 'but's
'Cause I cut cut cut!
No Siri/Lupin or Hermy/Ron
Without any shipping a scene can't go on
I direct this

DAVID, GARY, DANIEL, RUPERT AND EMMA (at the same time as Alfonso)
How could they all be alright
In the shack that night?
Think of the fans this has made
They will feel betrayed

ALFONSO
So there ain't no 'but's
Cut cut cut!

CAMERA GUY (spoken)
Great, we got this on camera! Can we put it on the special features on the DVD?

Alfonso, David, Gary, Daniel, Rupert and Emma all turn and glare at the camera guy

CAMERA GUY (spoken)
Okay...guess not.

A filk by R.J. Lupin to the tune of Another Dumb Blonde by Hoku (used in the movie Snow Day) I recently realized that, although I made mention of this issue in Hermione's I'm A Super Girl, I had not written a song about the deficiencies of Ron's character! Couldn't have that. So, I wrote Ron his song. No offense to Rupert Grint intended. I thought he did very well in PoA with what he had.

SCENE: Reading through his script, Ron decides to confront Steve Kloves about how wrongly his part has been written. Fred, George, and Ginny join him as backup singers.

RON:
I think that it's time
That I should just speak my case
That I think that you have turned
My character into a big disgrace

You see I thought that I was brave and loyal
And always there
For my friends when needed be
But you rewrote my character
Made a wimp of me

That's not right
That's not fair
I think that you really don't care
But why can't you see you've got my part all wrong?
That's not right
That's unjust
You've put my part way back into the dust
And I think you think that I am just
A silly dumb Ron
But that's not me
No, no
No, that's not me, no no
Oh no

We know that Harry has always
Been the giant hero
And that me and Hermione will support him right
Wherever he'll go
But when you're turning our trio into two and a half
You've ruined it all and I can't laugh
Made me a sidekick
Like I tag along, you've
Made me sick

That's not right
That's not fine
And you cannot give Herm my line
It shows that I try to stop what's going on
That's just so
Insulting
You make it seem like I don't do a thing
'Cause you think that I am really just
A silly dumb Ron
But that's not me, no no

You want just a little wussy
Crying out for help and
Being all confused
And slow 'til the night's end
But that's not
How JKR wrote me
So tell me, tell me, why you demoted me

That's not right
That's not true
It was a stupid thing to do
That's not right
That's not true
It was a stupid thing to do
I'm a Weasley King

RON, FRED,GEORGE, and GINNY:
So how could you?
Yeah
So how could you?

RON:
Yeah, yeah

RON, FRED, GEORGE, and GINNY:
How could you?

RON:
It's not right
It's not right
It's not right
It's not right

FRED, GEORGE, and GINNY:
It's not right

RON:
Where did you put my sense of me?

Ron and Fred-George-Ginny sing their parts silmutaneously. Repeat to fade. Or to however long it takes until they annoy Steve Kloves and he walks away, thus, they follow him and force him to let them see the script for the GoF movie

FRED, GEORGE, and GINNY:
It's not right,
It's not right, no
It's not right
It's not right, no
RON:
That's not right
That's not fair
I think that you really don't care
But why can't you see you've got my part all wrong
That's not right
That's unjust
You've put my part way back into the dust
And I think you think that I am just
A silly dumb Ron

A filk by R.J. Lupin to the title tune from Lloyd Webber's The Phantom of the Opera

This was inspired by the scene in the PoA film where Hermione howls to RemusWolf. I imagine he must've felt really guilty the next day. I guess this is a little Remus/Hermione shippy too. And after much debating, I've decided to use the musical version which has another verse to it (as I couldn't decide whether I wanted to keep my last verse or not). Enjoy.

HERMIONE:
For quite a bit, you see
I fin'lly knew
That secret mystery
Inside of you
When you transformed that night
With no control
I howled to you trying to make all right
So you'd not bite

REMUS:
I still cannot believe
What you had done
And I grieve, though lucky
I hurt no one
But tell me how can I
Forgive me now?
I know I could've surely done something
I can't allow

HERMIONE:
You're opposite of what
People expect
For you're no monstrous wolf
REMUS:
I can't accept
REMUS and HERMIONE: And when you/I called to me/you
Quickly I/you came
The werewolf of the Shrieking Shack (you see)/(is who)
(Is who)/(Is not) to blame

VOICES:
It's him, werewolf of the Shrieking Shack!
How grim, werewolf of the Shrieking Shack!

REMUS:
See how they turn away
I understand
It's all been wrong for days
HERMIONE:
It wasn't planned
REMUS and HERMIONE:
And when I think about
What could have been
I know that I (could never ask)/(would gladly do) the same
Of/For you again

As to prove her point, HERMIONE begins making werewolf calls with a musical tone that progressively get higher up the scale. REMUS feels even more guilt at this and tries to tell her to stop, but she is persistent in showing him that she will help him if she can

HERMIONE:
I care, werewolf of the Shrieking Shack!

REMUS: (spoken)
No...

HERMIONE:
Ahhh...!

REMUS: (spoken)
Please...

HERMIONE:
Ahhh...!

REMUS: (spoken)
Don't...

HERMIONE:
Ahhh...!

REMUS: (spoken)
Hermione...

HERMIONE:
Ahhh....!

REMUS: (spoken)
Hermione, please...

HERMIONE:
Ahhh!...
Ahhh!...
Ahhh!...

REMUS: (spoken)
Oh, Hermione, don't...

HERMIONE:
AHHHH!!!

A filk by Jason LeBouef to the tune of Act Naturally by Ringo Starr

In celebration of the film release of PoA, Sirius wants to sing something for us all..

SIRIUS
They're gonna put me in a movie
They're gonna make a big star out of me
Gonna make a film about a man that's mad and angry
And all I gotta do is act magically

Well I bet you, I'm gonna be a big star
Played by a muggle this much I can tell
The movie's gonna make me a big star
Cause Gary plays the part so well

Well, I hope you come and see me in the movie
And I'm sure, you can plainly see
The biggest git that ever hit the big time
And all I gotta do is act magically

They'll make a film about an Azkaban escapee
Avenge the murder of Harry's family
I'll blow apart and Ron will need some nursing
And all I gotta do is act magically

repeat chorus

A filk by The Final Stillness of Saturn to the tune of Aqua's Barbie Girl, about the HP movies' directors

CHRIS: Hiya, David.
DAVID: Hi, Chris.
CHRIS: D'you wanna go for a ride?
DAVID: Sure Chris.
CHRIS: Join in...

ALFONSO: I'm a director, in the Potter world.
With Scholastic, it's like magic.
You can mock Em's hair, put Spaniards everywhere.
Imagination, show Rowling's creation!
Come on David, let's go make it!

CHRIS: I'm a director, in the Potter world.
With Scholastic, it's like magic.
You can make the heir, put stairways everywhere.
Imagination, show Rowling's creation!

DAVID: I'm a new director in this fantasy world,
Come meet me, show me how; I'm the new guy.
CHRIS: You're the guy. We say hi. You're now famous with us,
That's Dan there and Tom here. Emma's busy.
You can watch. You can play, if you say: "I must di-rect!"

MIKE: I'm a director, in the Potter world.
With Scholastic, it's like magic.
Can give Krum a scare, make them kiss over there.
Imagination, show Rowling's creation!

CHRIS: Come on David, let's go make it!
DAVID: Ah, Ah, Ah, yeah!
ALFONSO: Come on David, let's go make it!
DAVID: Ooh-oh! Ooh-oh!
MIKE: Come on David, let's go make it!
DAVID: Ah, Ah, Ah, yeah!
CHRIS: Come on David, let's go make it!
DAVID: Ooh-oh! Ooh-oh!
Show me how; show me now. I will do what you say.
I can di-rect a star; I can stay up for days.
CHRIS: Come join in, my new friend; let us do it again.
Go get dressed, meet the press; let's go make it.
You can watch. You can play, if you say: "I must di-rect!"
You can watch. You can play, if you say: "I must di-rect!"

Come on David, let's go make it!
DAVID: Ah, Ah, Ah, yeah!
ALFONSO: Come on David, let's go make it!
DAVID: Ooh-oh! Ooh-oh!
MIKE: Come on David, let's go make it!
DAVID: Ah, Ah, Ah, yeah!
CHRIS: Come on David, let's go make it!
DAVID: Ooh-oh! Ooh-oh!

ALFONSO: I'm a director, in the Potter world.
With Scholastic, it's like magic.
You can mock Em's hair, put Spaniards everywhere.
Imagination, show Rowling's creation!

CHRIS: I'm a director, in the Potter world.
With Scholastic, it's like magic.
You can make the heir, put stairways everywhere.
Imagination, show Rowling's creation!

MIKE: I'm a director, in the Potter world.
With Scholastic, it's like magic.
Can give Krum a scare, make them kiss over there.
Imagination, show Rowling's creation!

CHRIS: Come on David, let's go make it!
DAVID: Ah, Ah, Ah, yeah!
ALFONSO: Come on David, let's go make it!
DAVID: Ooh-oh! Ooh-oh!
MIKE: Come on David, let's go make it!
DAVID: Ah, Ah, Ah, yeah!
CHRIS: Come on David, let's go make it!
DAVID: Ooh-oh! Ooh-oh!

Oh, I'm having so much fun!
CHRIS: Well, David, we've just getting started.
DAVID: Oh, you're so great Chris.

A filk by Jason LeBouef to the tune of She's Not There by The Zombies

Talk about squeezing a huge book into a 2-1/2 hour movie.

Well Rowling told me about her... the way she tried
Well Rowling told me about her... how little Winky cried

But if you go and see the movie... a little thought I have to share
Please don't bother trying to find her, she's not there

Well let me tell you bout the way she sulks
They way she sits there, and drinking butterbeer
Her eyes would sadly droop, her nose was big and ripe
But she's not there.

Well Rowling told me about her... What did she do?
Well Rowling told me about her... Her life was through

But if you go and see the movie... Nobody knows, why should they care
Please don't bother trying to find her, she's not there

Well let me tell you bout the way she sulks
They way she sits there, and drinking butterbeer
Her eyes would sadly droop, her nose was big and ripe
But she's not there.

But it's a shame they didn't add her, I would've looked, I would've cared
Please don't bother trying to find her, she's not there

Well let me tell you bout the way she sulks They way she sits there, and drinking butterbeer
Her eyes would sadly droop, her nose was big and ripe
But she's not there.

A filk by The Final Stillness of Saturn as sung by Ginny in the HBP movie to Bon Jovi's Living on a Prayer

GINNY:
Once upon a time,
Not so long ago:

You know, I believed in all books,
Journal by my side.
Mind theft was all took
To see, to see.
Written words have a hidden force.
Trust and believing gives power, of course.
For good-or bad.

I know there are no wizard busts anywhere,
and certainly no diadems
Resting above their stare.
No vanishing cabinets to beware
In here- The book's safe, I'd swear.

Oh, room has no snare.
Whoa whoa not a Horcrux lair.
Take my hand, and we'll hide it in there.
Whoa whoa you'll never know where.

So you've got an evil tome.
The Room of Requirement can
Be its new home.
Messy, messy.
I'll hide it; you can't get it back.
Then you'll have no business
In here, even if the room's under attack.

There are no wizard busts anywhere,
and certainly no diadems
Resting above their stare.
No vanishing cabinets to beware
In here- The book's safe, I'd swear.

Oh, room has no snare.
Whoa whoa not a Horcrux lair.
Take my hand; we'll hide it in there.
Whoa whoa you'll never know where.
You'll never know where.

We've got to hide it, ready or not.
It's expulsion for sure if with it you're caught.

Oh, room has no snare.
Whoa whoa not a Horcrux lair.
Take my hand, and we'll hide it in there.
Whoa whoa you'll never know where.

Oh, room has no snare.
Whoa whoa not a Horcrux lair.
Take my hand, and we'll hide it in there.
Whoa whoa you'll never know where.

(repeat/fade out)

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