To the tune of Dear Old Shiz
SCENE: Dumbledore comes to Privet Drive to collect Harry, and tells him that Sirius has made a will. He pulls a piece of paper out of his robes, taps his wand on it, and a magical chorus as well as Sirius's voice begins singing from it
SIRIUS'S VOICE and MAGICAL CHORUS:
Now when I die
These rules apply
On just what you need to do
MAGICAL CHORUS:
(Need to do)
SIRIUS'S VOICE and MAGICAL CHORUS:
All that is mine is now Harry's
I hope that you're fine and very pleased
But apologize to you
SIRIUS'S VOICE:
(Sorry too)
SIRIUS' VOICE AND MAGICAL CHORUS:
For you get Kreacher-
Dumbledore waves his wand, there is a pop, and Kreacher appears
KREACHER:
No-no-no-no-nooooooo!
SIRIUS'S VOICE:
Too...
MAGICAL CHORUS:
(Kreacher too...)
Delacour (HBP, Chap. 5)
To the tune of Popular
SCENE: HARRY is now at the Burrow, and as he sits in RON'S
room with RON, HERMIONE, and GINNY, another figure comes
waltzing through.
FLEUR:
Get married!
It's so- ooh la la
FLEUR exits, which prompts GINNY to begin ranting about her
GINNY:
For GINNY has seen MRS. WEASLEY pass by the door
I mean she's very special
La la
When I see the boys all drool and
No, she's a veela! Please!
(spoken) Why, Harry, Ron, look at you! You're both still in love with her French Veela ways!
HARRY and RON: (spoken)
(sung)
When bill and Phlegm wed
La la
Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes (HBP, Chap. 6)
To the tune of One Short Day
SCENE: Harry, Hermione, and the Weasleys are in Diagon Alley,
and decide to go and visit Fred and George's shop
MRS. WEASLEY: (spoken)
One weird way
HERMIONE:
HARRY:
FRED:
HARRY, RON, HERMIONE, and GINNY:
RON: (spoken)
They wander over to a crowd around Fred and George, who are
advertising their latest product
FRED and GEORGE:
HARRY, RON, HERMIONE, and GINNY: (at the same time as Fred and
George)
FRED and GEORGE: (at the same time as Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny)
HARRY, RON, HERMIONE, and GINNY:
There is so much to buy
HERMIONE:
ALL IN JOKE SHOP:
HARRY: (spoken to Ron and Hermione)
ALL IN JOKE SHOP:
What's Draco Doing? (HBP, Chap. 6)
To the tune of What Is This Feeling?
HARRY:
HARRY:
HERMIONE:
HARRY:
From pulling up his left sleeve!
HERMIONE:
RON and HERMIONE:
HARRY: (at the same time as Ron and Hermione)
RON and HERMIONE: (at the same time as Harry)
RON and HERMIONE: (and HARRY)
HARRY: (and Ron and Hermione)
Malfoy's a Death Eater (Listen)
RON and HERMIONE:
GINNY: (spoken)
Half-Blood Prince and I (HBP, Chap. 9)
To the tune of The Wizard and I
SCENE: In SLUGHORN's first potions class, HARRY has followed
the Half-Blood Prince's advice, and become SLUGHORN'S favorite
student. And so, unaware of the Prince's true identity, HARRY
continues uses the book to his advantages
SLUGHORN:
HARRY:
When I started Hogwarts
Actually the thing is
And though I'm not quite sure just who he is
I never thought
An Auror man
And I always will remember
Defeat That Dark Wizard
To the tune of No One Mourns the Wicked
SCENE: HARRY has arrived at his first lesson with DUMBLEDORE,
and together they plunge down into the Pensieve to relive the
story of TOM RIDDLE, which will convienently now show HARRY
two lesson's worth of memories instead of one. They follow
behind OGDEN who has arrived at the Gaunt house.
MARVOLO AND MORFIN:
As OGDEN speaks with with MARVOLO and MORFIN, MEROPE wanders
over to the window and watches TOM RIDDLE SENIOR and CECILIA
pass
CECILIA: (spoken as she points at the Gaunt house)
MEROPE: (spoken)
MARVOLO has caught MEROPE eyeing TOM RIDDLE SENIOR, so he pulls her away from the window and starts yelling at her for it
MARVOLO:
MORFIIN:
MARVOLO and MORFIN:
MARVOLO:
And purebloods know
MARVOLO and MORFIN:
MARVOLO now attacks MEROPE, and MORFIN chases OGDEN away
DUMBLEDORE: (spoken)
Was Voldemort born wicked? Or did he have wickedness thrust
upon him? After all, he had a mother and father-- by means of
a love potion...
TOM SENIOR:
DUMBLEDORE: (spoken)
TOM SENIOR:
DUMBLEDORE: (spoken)
PAST!DUMBLEDORE:
TOM makes a loud, dramatic scoffing-gasp
PAST!DUMBLEDORE: (spoken)
TOM:
TOM: (spoken to himself)
The memory has then ended, so HARRY and DUMBLEDORE travel
back to DUMBLEDORE'S office where they find the PORTRAITS OF
HEADMASTERS singing
PORTRAITS OF HEADMASTERS:
DUMBLEDORE now begins singing a high, operatic trill while
the PORTRAITS continue
PORTRAITS OF HEADMASTERS:
DUMBLEDORE and PORTRAITS OF HEADMASTERS:
Can't Have That Girl
To the tune of I'm Not That Girl
SCENE: After seeing Ginny kissing Dean, Harry goes back to
reflect on his thoughts for Ginny.
HARRY:
Lost time with Cho
And yet the thing is I'm quite aware
Give up, she's fine
Wise up and say
A Team Through and Through (HBP, Chap. 26)
To the tune of As Long As You're Mine
SCENE: HARRY and DUMBLEDORE are in the cave and have found out
how to retrieve the Horcrux. DUMBLEDORE instructs HARRY to
make him drink the potion, and HARRY obliges.
HARRY:
I really don't want to
DUMBLEDORE:
HARRY and DUMBLEDORE:
HARRY plunges some water down DUMBLEDORE's throat, helping to revive him
HARRY and DUMBLEDORE:
HARRY: (spoken)
Defying Dumbledore (HBP, Chap. 27)
To the tune of Defying Gravity
SCENE: Harry and Dumbledore return from their adventure at the
cave to discover that there is a Dark Mark over Hogwarts, and
they run up to the tower
HARRY:
DUMBLEDORE:
Harry becomes stupefied, Dumbledore becomes disarmed, and
Draco Malfoy comes out of the shadows
DRACO:
DUMBLEDORE: (spoken)
DRACO:
I'm not the same old student
I've been all year
DUMBLEDORE:
DRACO:
I'm in the lead
DUMBLEDORE: (spoken)
(sung) You're no killer
With the right side
(spoken) Well, what do you think? Are you ready to live fighting for
what really matters? You seem to be put off and afraid on the
side you stand.
DRACO: (spoken)
DUMBLEDORE:
The Death Eaters burst out,and begin shouting at Draco to
hurry and kill Dumbledore
AMYCUS: (spoken)
DRACO:
This is the night
DUMBLEDORE:
DEATH EATERS:
DRACO:
DEATH EATERS:
DRACO:
DEATH EATERS:
A Lycanthropic Man
To the tune of A Sentimental Man
This tells why Lupin rejects Tonks at first in the Hospital Wing at the end. Aww. Yay Remus/Tonks!
LUPIN:
Finale (HBP, Chap. 30)
To the tune of the same name
SCENE: As the mourners continue to mourn the loss of
Dumbledore, Harry wanders over to the beech tree, with Ron and
Hermione there watching him.
MOURNERS:
What now?
HARRY:
HARRY and DUMBLEDORE'S VOICE:
MOURNERS:
Oh 'Arry eet ees really
Too long since I've seen you
And I wonder- dear 'Arry
What's 'appened, what ees new?
But stop and hear zis before you do-
Eet ees slightly thanks to you I'll say
That 'elped me look to zis grand day
Because you brought
Zis darling man my way
I theenk you do not know
Wheech ees quite shocking but I'll tell you so
I really 'ope you'll be able to go
See me and Bill
For next summer
When we will
When Bill and I get married!
'Cause we make ze perfect pair
As you are aware
So eet's good zat 'e met me!
Together for all our lives
When that day arrives
Once we're Bill and Fleur Weasley!
Oh zat Bill makes me ga-ga
With zat red 'air and fang, 'e's
Beautiful azz me
Eet's ze best choice we could make
Well, goodbye
Becuzz I must go and make him a cake
Don't you think she's the most annoying thing you've seen?
All she ever does is complain, go snog bill, and preen
I am so sick of all her talk about
Her wedding and her dumb self
Oh, put it on a shelf
Please not anymore
Delacour
I can't stand Fleur Delacour
If Bill was right in the head
He'd choose Tonks instead
And not this sickly piece of phlegm- oh, er
Superficial girl named Phlegm- Fleur!
La la!
Look at me, I'm
Fleur Delacour!
Act around her like such a fool
I just want to smack her with a bench
Because the
Boys all gape, what's wrong with them? and
Even Snape seemed charmed by 'ol Phlegm
I think we know the reason
"Well, Ah am French!"
That's why they're smitten with her
If we beat her head with books
Took away her looks
Then they all might just realize
Phlegm's a dumb girly that I
Despise!
N-no we're not
GINNY:(spoken)
Of course you're not.
You'll know what I've said
And you'll learn fast it's true
'Cause she'll be here forever
Oh God, what am I gonna do?
La la!
That Phlegm Delacour
I say, she's worse than a Mary-Sue!
Now, we've only got time for a quick look, everyone...
HARRY, RON, HERMIONE and GINNY:
One short day here in Diagon Alley...
RON: (spoken)
I can't wait to see what they'e been up to lately!
HARRY, RON, HERMIONE, and GINNY:
One weird way to Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes...
To Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes
For one day
In this brilliant joke shop
Oh, I say
Look at everything in here
I'm sure that we will find
A something in mind
To not leave behind
There are daydream charms and Muggle tricks!
HARRY:
Snackboxes!
RON:
And quill magic!
GINNY:
Pygmy Puffs!
RON:
Hangman!
And even more
There are Shield Charms for cloaks, even hats
GINNY:
Love Potions!
HERMIONE:
And look at that!
HARRY, RON, HERMIONE and GINNY:
I think we've found a really wicked store!
I never knew
Just what they could do
We could replace our friend Zonko's
GEORGE:
But we'll just see if they will close
FRED and GEORGE:
But as for now, why don't you wander through?
One great day
In Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes
One great day
And there is so much to see
One great day
To please yourself to pieces
So much in this room
And they'll make more soon
It's the place to be!
Hey... look at what Fred and George are doing over here! Come
on, you guys!
Why have you
Been worrying so much just a-
-Bout that bad guy called You-Know-Who?
I think you
Need to be worrying a-
-Bout that U-No-Poo!
It's that constipation sensation
And now it's groping the nation
Woo-oo-oo
Such a fascination
In your contemplation
One weird way
To Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes
For one day
To have the thrill of your life
Why have you
Been worrying so much just a-
-Bout that bad guy called You-Know-Who?
I think you
Need to be worrying a-
-Bout that U-No-Poo!
Oh, I say
I want to stay here all day
Candy for my eyes
And look at all these
Magic folks
Exhilarant
RON:
Excellent
HARRY:
It's brilliant
Here in the shop of all
Wizard-
Look out there, it's Malfoy skulking and sneaking around!
Let's follow him!
Jokes!
I've got some confusion over Malfoy's latest plans
RON:
But of course he's being evil
HERMIONE:
And the answer we can't weedle
HARRY, RON, and HERMIONE:
So this Malfoy thing is really tiresome
Yes
I've got a conclusion that I'm sure you'll understand
Malfoy must be
Doing dark and dirty dealings
To get revenge on what he's feeling, oh don't you see?
RON and HERMIONE:
Um...
What's Malfoy doing?
I really can't guess
RON:
After a few days
I couldn't care less
HERMIONE:
Perhaps he's buying
RON:
Maybe he's fixing
Something he's broken
HERMIONE:
What is he doing?
RON and HERMIONE:
Guess we'll never know
We'll just leave it so
Yes...
I know!
Malfoy must be a Death Eater!
RON:
He's a what?
HARRY:
I said
Death Eater!
Think of it:
All of it fits!
After all, earlier in the shop
Malfoy clearly told Malkin to stop
But then he showed it to Borgin
Then Borgin looked rather displeased
And now I believe!
All the signs are pointing to a 'yes'
And somehow we will make him confess
That he's a Death
Eater, eating at the
Whole world's life!
Harry, you must have made a mistake
RON:
Because I wouldn't reckon that he'd take
Malfoy in and let him join him
It'd be hard to keep it secret
With Hogwarts being as a threat
HERMIONE:
Plus... you haven't got much proof yet!
Listen, Harry, although you've set
Your mind on Malfoy as You-Know's pet
We have got to tell you
It might not be true!
It could be
What's Malfoy doing?
I think it is clear
He's a Death Eater
Who is spreading fear
And what his plans are
I'm really not sure
But he's positioned here!
We have got to tell
Yes
Now...
Nothing
Maybe it is really nothing
Maybe it's not worth
Discussing
Perhaps you've
Just been fussing
Even though we're sure
You're not a fop
We are going to
Ask you to stop
Now...
Harry! (Malfoy!)
There must be an explanation (D.E.!)
Other than your speculation (Malfoy!)
It's too soon to tell! (D.E.!)
Sorry, but I'm sure
It has to be
There's no other
Reason I can see
For Voldemort, causing (Harry)
Harm, the Dark Mark's
On his arm (Harry, please)
He's causing hell!
Harry!
Harry, maybe it is
Nothing!
Just to warn you guys, Phlegm is coming!
HARRY, RON and HERMIONE: (spoken)
Ahh!
Oh, Harry, Harry...
It's clear that you're a winner
I am certain you have the gift
Why, you could have oceans of
Potions emo-
-Tions, if you catch my drift
Harry, my boy!
You're talented as your mother
A fine girl like no other
Yes, she was a great student
Like you, and now I would bet
That her talent passed through
'Cause it shows in you
Did that really just happen?
Is that actually possible?
That for once I'm best
In this potions test
And could win that bottle?
Though it wasn't myself
Because help came
But why complain?
I could plainly see
That Snape, our potions teacher
Always hated, or well- loathed me
For five years I failed his classes
But now you know where that ass is?
He is teaching Defensive Arts
And I don't think that was too smart-
Oh-
But the point is
Now that he's out of my hair
His greasy hair and his big nose
In Potions class it shows
That I do well there
Slughorn gave my book
I opened it for Potions
It was quite a look
At first the scribbles annoyed me
But now those thoughts have changed
'Cause I followed their directions
And then my potion rearranged
Well the potion's results
Still were the same
Just new directions I tried
Now I do so well with
Half-Blood Prince and I
I know he must have been a great wiz
All the pages I'm examining
He's instructing on everything
And though Hermione is getting mad
From all the better results I've had
Half-Blood Prince, I am so glad
Your help stops me brewing bad
That I could be so darn good
In Potions but I'll get by
'Cause I do so well with
Half-Blood Prince and I...
You truly are a gift
The Half-Blood Prince
I could still be an Auror man
I thought that my career is crushed
But I know I still can
Because- I am still in Potions
And now pass with devotion
I know Snape will cry fury
When he finds out the Half-Blood Prince
Made an Auror of me!
Who I really need to thank
For giving such good advice
That it helped lead me to my rank
I may not ever
Find out just who you are
But I know that we will
Go so far
Topping the Potions class
With flying colors we will pass
And we will show Snape's greasy ass!
Half-Blood Prince
And I!
Who dares?
Who jaunts?
Who comes to the house of Gaunt?
Who says that they've come for business here?
Who's come to be a huge pain right in our rear?
Who comes?
You're dumb
Welcome
Look! It's an eyesore!
Oh Tom...
(sung) Can't you see past
My torture that's vast?
Can't you just stop by so I'll not cry oh so blue?
Dear Tom, can't you see that I love you?
It'd be so nice to know
I'm a witch who knows magic
Things will not be so tragic if one day
We'll run away
And you'll say--
No one cares for Mudbloods!
No one cares for half-bloods too!
Worst of all are those filthy Muggles!
The good man is a pureblood!
Oh Ogden, just go and shoo
'Cause I bet pureblood isn't you!
We're Slytherin's descendents
Purebloods know
We're last of his living
Purebloods know we've everything
Like his locket
And my ring
Yes, purebloods know
You're only good as your name
Purebloods know
Muggles are such a shame
If you even think that they
Are just okay
You will pay
Dear Merope you really are so lov'ly
MEROPE:
Oh, dear Tom, but you're much more than me
TOM SENIOR:
I love you and I know I'll love
Our beautiful baby
For reasons not certain, Merope stopped feeding Tom the love
potion, and so Tom, now aware of what she was doing, left her.
I know who you are- daughter of that tramp!
What am I doing married to you?
No, I do not want to see any son
He was never mine, so there's no reason
I've been hoodwinked, I've been deceived, I've been lied to
This love isn't true
And then, with both of Voldemort's parents gone, he spent his
childhood in an orphanage until I came to invite him to
Hogwarts and tell him he was- well-- different
A wizard!
TOM:
Who?
PAST!DUMBLEDORE:
You can do magic
TOM:
How true!
PAST!DUMBLEDORE:
You'll come to school
Follow the rules
And in no time you'll fol-
-low your parents-
Oh dear!
What is it? What's wrong?
My mother's dead
It's not my mom
Could be father
But he's gone
And yet they still chose to name me
This boring, common, useless name of-
TOM AND ORPHANS:
TOM!!
I need a new name...
I need a new name!
So he chose 'Voldemort'!
And it caused respect and fear
Now he's made his way back into here!
And
This is why
We all depend on you
This is why
You see what he's gone through
DUMBLEDORE:
What he's been through
PORTRAITS OF HEADMASTERS:
This is how (This is how)
You'll learn how to defeat
When you meet
Defeat that Dark Wizard!
DUMBLEDORE:
Harry!
PORTRAITS OF HEADMASTERS:
Defeat that Dark Wizard!
DUMBLEDORE:
Harry!
Defeat that Dark Wizard!
Wizard!
Wizard!
Four years ago
Didn't realize, didn't know
Something that could have began
But I didn't see
And she's not with me
That was stupid, now I know
Who I should've been with along
She could be that girl
That time is gone
She's the sister of my best friend
But would Ron have acted completely fair
If he saw just what could be fate?
Has her boyfriend all the time
You had your chance but it's through
Now she's picked her guy
And though you try
It is not you
Toward her you can't feel this way
Your fantasies, they cannot come true
Though I wonder why
I know that I
Can't have that girl
Drink up this potion
Sir, you'll be fine
You've got to keep drinking
To finish the line
We'll reach the Horcrux
Once it is gone
Sir, it's important
You need to drink on
But I must insist
You finish the goblets
Because you just resist
What if it turns out
This was wrong to do?
I only keep on because I'm
Your man through and through
Don't make me do this
It's too much pain
But all of this torture
You make sustain
All of it's my fault
No more pretend
I will do anything
Just make it all end
Make all of this stop
I can't bear to be
(Forcing you)/(Living with) this madness
With no end I can see
DUMBLEDORE:
Easy if you will
Just go and kill me
HARRY:
It is over now
You'll be free!
Getting this Horcrux
Was not a task small
But with us together
We can destory them all
We'll work together until he is gone
And from there we will carry on
A team through and through
Don't worry, Professor.
DUMBLEDORE: (spoken)
I am not worried, Harry. I am--
With you.
Professor Dumble-
I see a Dark Mark here
I'm paralyzed with fear
I hope it is not the end
For one or more of my friends
I see it also
Harry, now obey me
Go get Professor Snape
And quick, before it's too late
For us to get to safety
Old man, you are going nowhere
I've got you trapped in this lair
Ah, good evening Draco.
(sung) I'm aware of what you're doing
But are you acting alone?
Or is someone helping your mission?
Yes
But I have done it-yes
I have done it on my own
Not just a Slytherin
And you can hear my statement, I
Let the Death Eaters in
Not just for entertainment
Hurting Mudbloods, girl or man
They are here for one purpose
Help me with the plan
Defying Dumbledore
You're queer so I'm
Defying Dumbledore
You will be here no more
Oh what a lovely idea
Would you please care to explain more here?
Used the Vanishing Cabinet
From right under your nose
'Cause when they both are fixed
A secret path to Hogwarts shows
And to make sure that you came
Imperius'd with no shame
Once Dark Lord knows
The world will never be the same
Defying Dumbledore
Necklace and mead
For defying Dumbledore
Or he'd kill me for sure
Draco, you don't have to do this. I know you do not want to.
There are other options.
I know that you are no killer
Or surely you would have murdered me not long ago
Draco
Come and join the right side
Do not be terrified
Your whole fam'ly we can hide
Defying Voldemort
You'll live with pride
Defying Voldemort
You will not be denied
I'm not afraid! I am... waiting for the right time, stupid old
man! The other Death Eaters will be here to watch you die any
moment! I am staying on the right side- the Dark Lord's!
I hope you're happy
With the choice you have made
I hope you're glad you've stayed
For if you're not there truly
Then just where do you wish to be?
And if you think you chose unfair
Just know the Order's still there
Kill him, Draco! Kill him!
GREYBACK: (spoken)
Hurry up, boy, or I'll have the most pleasure in doing this
myself!
So if you care to find me
Check with the Death Eaters
As someone told me lately
"There's no good or bad, there's just power!"
We'll stay loyal to our Lord
Even when times get rough
We know he's right on
What to do and who to snuff
For defying Dumbledore
The time is right
To defy Dumbledore
The chance is right now I am sure
And no one in the magic world
Will fully see your life unfurled
You'll never be here anymore!
I see you've chosen
Hey, why wait, he's wandless!
Kill him!
Anymore!
It's what we've waited for
So we must kill Dumble-
Ah-ah-ah-ah!
-Dore!
I am a lycanthropic man
Who cannot ever be quite normal
I'm stuck forever as I am
And I can never change to something that's more formal
So, Tonks, I want you to go find someone
Who is successful, wholesome, handsome, safe and young
'Cause even though I love you so
We cannot do this just- because- no...
'Cause you'd be
Happier without me
You-Know-Who has returned
There's a war we've yet to fight
How do we still know what way to turn?
What now?
Who can say how we will
Get to the end here?
But
I/You know what to do
DUMBLEDORE'S VOICE:
Destroy the Horcruxes...
HARRY:
I'll finish for you...
HARRY and DUMBLEDORE'S VOICE:
Until he's gone...
Defeat that Dark Wizard!
Wizard!
Wizard!
Harry Potter
the Musical(s)