A Sirius Story

HARRY is in his room before the arrival of Aunt Marge.

HARRY (to himself):
Boy, boy, Harry, boy
Keep cool, boy
Say that you go to St. Brutus'
Keep your temper, boy
If you make just one mistake
And let something slip
Uncle Vernon will not sign
The form for Hogsmeade
Show Aunt Marge that you're a normal
(But a criminal) boy
Do not listen to her insults
Keep your mouth shut, boy
Just think of your broomstick kit;
It will distract you
And keep it cool, boy
Real cool

To the tune of Something's Coming

It is the first Care of Magical Creatures lesson. HAGRID, GRYFFINDORS, and SLYTHERINS are standing outside HAGRID's hut.

HAGRID:
Hello, welcome
Today I'm gonna teach you
All about hippogriffs
It'll be fun
They may get dangerous when they're mad
But if they're calm, then they are fine
Now, class
First you must open your books--

DRACO:
But that's impossible
They try to bite

HAGRID:
That's nothing; all you gotta do
Is stroke the books. Then they'll be tame

DRACO (to SLYTHERINS):
This is dumb, this is bad
This class is really sad
Dangerous, too
My father will not like this
When I tell him what this oaf makes us do

HAGRID:
Don't insult hippogriffs
They are quite sensitive
They will attack
When you meet one, take a bow
And then wait for a while till it bows back
Its bow will count
As a safe sign to mount
And then you'll have a
Great flight
Who wants to volunteer?

HARRY steps forward.

Harry, come on, over here
And take a bow
Beaky's bowing back to you,
So you know he likes you
Get on him now

HARRY gets on Buckbeak, flies around on him, and then gets back down.

That was great, Harry
Who'll try it next? Don't tarry
Go on

DRACO (standing next to Buckbeak):
If Potter can do this, then
I most certainly can
You don't scare me,
Big ugly brute

Buckbeak strikes DRACO, who lets out a bloodcurdling shriek