1st Year: Harry learns the rules of Quidditch.
Oliver explains the game of Quidditch, illustrating with the balls out on the pitch.
OLIVER:
Quidditch has tendency to get quite dangerous,
But as a Seeker you won't be exposed to that.
Just leave the dirtier bits to the rest of us,
And just make sure you have your own rules quite down pat.
He throws the Quaffle to Harry.
The Chasers are in charge of this:
The Quaffle, it goes through the hoops.
The Keeper-that's me-has to keep it from going through;
The other team wins ten points for every time that they do.
The Chasers put in the Quaffle;
The Keeper keeps out the Quaffle.
He reiterates the rules and takes back the Quaffle, exchanging it for a Beater's bat. He holds up a struggling Bludger and lets it fly.
And if that isn't hard enough,
There are Bludgers afoot on the pitch.
They're meant to distract you as you fly over the field;
That's why two of your teammates have a bat they always wield.
The Beaters protect their own team;
The Beaters attack the other team.
The Bludger comes back down at Harry's face, and Harry whacks it away. Oliver nods, impressed.
Quidditch has a tendency to get quite dangerous,
But at Hogwarts we've never had it too bad.
Just be careful as you weave in and out of all of us
And you don't foul anyone-or I'll be mad.
For you see, my Seeker trainee,
One-fifty points lay squarely on your head.
All you must do is fly after the Golden Snitch
Which can be rather hard, especially on our packed pitch.
The Seeker catches the Snitch;
The Seeker wins us the game.
Oliver begins to explain the multitudinous ways in which Harry can assure he catches the prize Snitch, growing more and more excited by the second.
The Seeker catches the Snitch.
So fly a little, wait a little,
Dive a little, feint a little,
Dodge a little, duck a little,
Be sure you don't get stuck a little.
When the Beaters beat a little,
The other team's dead meat a little,
Chasers in formation,
Wins us a celebration.
When the Seeker catches the Snitch!
HARRY:
That's it?
OLIVER:
Exactly, Potter. Now, you try catching a few of these golf balls; it's so hard to see the Snitch after dark.
Oliver and Harry fly off to practice.
For when you hold the Snitch in hand,
The cheers erupt within the stands.
Then you hoist that small ball up
And we win the Quidditch Cup.
As long as we're ahead of them,
We'll win some and then-
The Seeker catches the Snitch!
Put On Your Quidditch Robes (to the tune of Put On Your Sunday Clothes)
1st Year: Gryffindor vs. Slytherin.
Oliver gets the team-- particularly his new secret weapon-- prepped and ready for the first game of the season with one of his famous prep speeches.
OLIVER:
He motions to the Gryffindor stands, at the top of which Harry's classmates wave a banner declaring "Potter for President."
Out there,
Put on your Quidditch robes, we're gonna win the game.
Put on your Quidditch robes; we're gonna fly our best;
HARRY/OLIVER:
The other teammates continue to encourage Harry.
FRED:
GEORGE (winking and brandishing his Beater bat):
ALICIA/ANGELINA/KATIE:
They take off, flying out onto the pitch.
THE GRYFFINDOR QUIDDITCH TEAM:
Atop your racing broom we feel the rush of flight.
The match does not go as well as planned, however; Harry's friends notice the difficulty with which he flies.
RON:
They look over the the teachers' stands.
HERMIONE:
Hermione dashes over the the teachers' stands.
Light a fire!
She rushes through the teachers, knocking over Quirrel, and lights a fire under Professor Snape's seat. The teachers notice in turn.
QUIRRELL (from the ground where he lies, breaking eye contact):
FLITWICK:
MCGONAGALL:
SNAPE (panicking and breaking eye contact):
Harry recovers.
THE GRYFFINDOR QUIDDITCH TEAM:
OLIVER:
ALICIA/ANGELINA/KATIE:
Harry catches the Snitch in his famous in-the-mouth catch.
THE GRYFFINDOR QUIDDITCH TEAM:
It Only Took A Moment (to the tune of It Only Takes a Moment)
3rd Year: Gryffindor vs. Hufflepuff.
Harry wakes in the hospital wing after suffering the fall that nearly killed him - and that was not so sparing with his broomstick.
HARRY:
I heard them in that instant,
RON (the bearer of bad news, pulling out Harry's broken Nimbus 2000):
ADMIRERS:
No one spoke in that instant;
Still out on the pitch, Cedric feels guilty about his win and tries to explain to Madam Hooch.
CEDRIC:
The infirmary:
HARRY: I can't believe
The Quidditch pitch:
CEDRIC: I cannot win at such a cost.
In harmony:
CEDRIC/HARRY: For it only took a moment
On My Firebolt (to the tune of Ribbons Down My Back)
3rd Year: Harry receives the Firebolt.
On Christmas morning, Harry responds in glee to his new broomstick.
HARRY:
Ron prompts Harry to tell him who sent it, and Harry finds himself quite clueless.
Because someone knew I needed a new broom, this season,
Charming (to the tune of Dancing)
Year 3: Harry learns the Patronus Charm.
After his accident, Harry goes to Remus Lupin to learn the charm that will ward away any dementors that come too close to him.
LUPIN (instructing Harry clearly):
A thin stream of wispy silver smoke comes out of Lupin's wand.
HARRY:
The wisp fades almost instantly.
Well, you were.
LUPIN (smiling):
He opens the trunk to reveal the Boggart that instantly takes the shape of a dementor.
Take those memories that make you grin,
HARRY:
Harry passes out immediately. Lupin slams the trunk shut, shakes Harry awake, and hands him some chocolate.
That's hard charming!
LUPIN:
HARRY:
LUPIN:
HARRY:
Watch at me now, Professor! I, Harry Potter, will charm!
LUPIN:
He prepares to open the trunk again.
The Boggart is right there, inside.
HARRY:
The Boggart emerges as a dementor once again, but this time a full Patronus bursts from Harry's wand, defending him.
LUPIN:
Lupin slams the lid down again, not wishing for Harry to grow too weak, but then turns to him, ecstatic.
It might be corporeal if you worked a week or more.
HARRY:
LUPIN:
HARRY/LUPIN:
Sabotage (to the tune of Elegance)
3rd Year: Gryffindor vs. Ravenclaw.
Flint, Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle put together their dementor ploy to scare Harry off of his broom.
MALFOY/FLINT (donning their dementor cloaks):
CRABBE/GOYLE (also dressing their parts):
CRABBE/FLINT/GOYLE/MALFOY:
We like sabotage;
FLINT
MALFOY
CRABBE/GOYLE:
MALFOY:
CRABBE/FLINT/GOYLE/MALFOY:
Gryffindor,
He was born to win at Quidditch but
GOYLE:
CRABBE:
CRABBE/FLINT/GOYLE/MALFOY:
MALFOY:
FLINT:
CRABBE/FLINT/GOYLE/MALFOY:
CRABBE/GOYLE (harmonizing):
MALFOY (harmonizing):
FLINT (harmonizing):
MCGONGALL (anything but harmonizing):
Why not win on your own?
McGonagall rushes over to the three culprits and begins to scold. Malfoy tries to explain.
MALFOY (excusing himself):
Charming (Reprise) (to the tune of "Dancing, Reprise")
3rd Year: Gryffindor vs. Ravenclaw.
The day of the Ravenclaw match, Harry learns of a different sort of charm he could fall under.
HARRY (spotting Cho and stopping fast):
He mounts his broom but still cannot keep his eyes off of her.
Though you may never have said a word
Harry spots the "dementors" on the ground below.
I used to need to concentrate
He shoots his Patronus charm over his shoulder, casual as can be.
As around and around I fly,
LUPIN (hating to rain on the parade):
HARRY (still in ecstasy): Expecto Patronum, Expecto . . .
Let's Go, Ollie! (to the tune of Hello, Dolly!)
3rd Year: Gryffindor vs. Slytherin.
Oliver gets the team ready for the pivotal-and last-game of the season.
OLIVER:
GRYFFINDOR QUIDDITCH TEAM:
OLIVER:
GRYFFINDOR QUIDDITCH TEAM:
OLIVER:
GRYFFINDOR QUIDDITCH TEAM (confused):
They look around at one another, and then finally shake their heads and move on.
Let's go, Ollie,
Oh, let's go, Ollie!
OLIVER:
ANGELINA/ALICIA/KATIE:
Oliver tries to console them, still in the moment.
OLIVER:
GRYFFINDOR:
OLIVER:
GRYFFINDOR QUIDDITCH TEAM:
They fly out onto the pitch.
Oh, oh, let's go, Ollie,
In formation, Oliver gives the final battle-cheer.
OLIVER:
GRYFFINDOR QUIDDITCH TEAM:
OLIVER:
GRYFFINDOR QUIDDITCH TEAM:
OLIVER/GRYFFINDOR QUIDDITCH TEAM:
Finale Victorio (to the tune of Finale Ultimo)
3rd Year: Gryffindor vs. Slytherin.
It finally sinks in that the team has won.
HARRY (holding up the Snitch):
Without you, Ollie,
Oliver goes to Madam Hooch, who hands him the Quidditch Cup.
OLIVER (hoisting the Cup in the air for the team to see):
HARRY: Hooray for Gryffindor!
THE GRYFFINDOR QUIDDITCH TEAM:
We've won, Ollie,
We've got chills, Ollie,
Harry realizes he can now make the world's best Patronus.
HARRY:
He also realizes the role that his new broomstick played in it all.
Though I lost one in an instant,
THE GRYFFINDOR QUIDDITCH TEAM:
Take off the Quidditch robes; we'll finally won the game!
Well, well, well,
OLIVER (tearing up):
THE GRYFFINDOR QUIDDITCH TEAM:
Out there,
Way out there beyond these changerooms,
Watching us from in those stands, there, Harry.
Our fans there, Harry!
Waving gold and scarlet banners,
Can't you see this game matters, Harry?
Ready, Harry?
Shine up your broom and check that your robes don't tear.
We're gonna finally give our House a glorious name!
Our red and gold
Are far too bold
For a losing team to wear!
We've been training hard and fast and long.
We'll score some goals
In those scoring holes
And we'll dominate the whole pitch!
And we won't come down until we've caught the Snitch!
Put on your Quidditch robes; we're gonna set the score.
We've let Slytherin win for far too long!
We're gonna give our fans something to adore--
Or at the least
We'll let them feast
On the Slytherin pools of gore!
Atop your racing broom you feel the rush of flight.
The thrill will come as soon as you take off.
We'll feel alive
As we watch you dive
And make a stunning Snitch catch,
And because of you Gryffindor wins the match!
Put on your Quidditch robes; we're gonna knock 'em dead!
We've waited far too long to bring our team back up!
Angelina, Alicia, Katie, George, and Fred.
Add Ollie Wood,
And our Harry, too,
And you've got a winning lineup!
The thrill will come as soon as we take off.
We'll feel alive
As we watch him dive
And make a stunning Snitch catch,
And because of him Gryffindor wins the match!
Hermione, check this out!
There's something wrong with Harry's flying.
He'll fall right off that thing if he gets tired!
Look! I think Snape's hexing
Harry's broom-- at least he's trying.
I know how I can solve this--
He's on fire!
He's on fire!
He's on fire!
I'm on fire!!!
Put on your Quidditch robes; this game's a dangerous game!
It takes a whole lot more than grace and poise.
Yet those who can make it a hero's game!
We still can win
After that foul spin!
Come on, you Gryffindor boys!
And girls!
Harry's gone and flown on through a reckless ride,
Though we don't know on whom to place the blame.
He flew on through
Like most heros do
And proved to us just the same
That he won't come down,
That he won't come down,
No, he won't come down until he wins the game!
It only took a moment
For my eyes to blur and then
I fell back, in that instant,
To a time I'm not quite sure of when.
Screaming loud in terror true,
And in that lapsing moment
I slid right off my broom.
I'm so sorry, Harry, but you see, the Whomping Willow, it doesn't like to be hit, and it only-
. . . took a moment;
We held our breath and then
You slid down, in an instant,
And we thought for sure it was the end.
All eyes were fixed on you,
Within that lapsing moment-
I saw him in that instant
But I caught the Snitch too soon,
And in that fateful moment
He slid right off his broom.
I've finally lost.
For Gryffindor to lose.
I'll be flying on my Firebolt, this season.
Swift and fleet and agile as a Seeker can be.
So if the Snitch happens in my way, this season,
I'll catch it as soon as it passes by.
The broom will make it easier to chase it
In the empty springtime sky,
And the breeze that stirs on trailing up behind me
Might happen to knock the other team to the side,
And gave me a broom worth everyone's envy.
And so I wear proudly fly,
On my Firebolt,
Straight across the sky
Quite thankfully.
Straighten up your back and stand
With your wand in your right hand.
And, "Expecto Patronum. Expecto-"
Look! You're charming!
Now you try, Mr. Potter.
Hold your wand tight and begin,
And "Expecto Patronum-"
"Expecto-"
Try a different memory if that one can't do the trick;
That one didn't end up quite strong enough.
I was thinking of my first time on a broomstick.
Well-it didn't make much more than a puff.
Well, my head always starts to hurt,
Until it feels fit to pop,
But once I start charming I'll make those dementors stop!
Let's try it again, then, shall we?
I'm ready now; stand aside!
You're charming!
You could pass the NEWTs now, if you wanted!
I don't have to worry about fainting anymore!
When it comes to magic, you're undaunted!
My/Your head always used to hurt,
Until it felt fit to pop,
But now that I'm/you're charming you'll make those dementors stop!
Well, Potter,
Your streak is done.
Watch now as
Dementors come.
All the friends of Mr. Malfoy are
Set and ready for this winning ploy.
With cunning
And clever stealth,
We'll scare him so bad
He wets himself.
If we don't use sabotage,
We will never, ever win on our own.
:All who are
In Slytherin
Know it takes
Cheating to win.
:Don your robes
And keep your hoods on up;
We can't be caught
Or else the jig is up.
Do you think
They'll know it's us?
Just try not to
Make it obvious!
We like sabotage;
If we don't use sabotage,
We will never, ever win on our own.
A loss is nigh.
Maybe we'll even
See Potter cry!
We'll still come and wipe the pitch with him.
We are not
In it to win.
We just help 'cause we like Slytherin.
We like sabotage,
If we don't use sabotage . . .
Did you hear when those dementors made
Harry Potter swoon?
When he sees them on the pitch again,
They're sure to make him fume!
For . . .
We like sabotage;
If we don't use sabotage-
Oh, with sabotage . . .
Sabotage . . .
Sabotage . . .
Sabotage . . .
Sabotage!
Who said sabotage?
Why, this is not sabotage!
We could always go and win on our own!
When a someone you hardly know
Makes you wish you were close to her,
It almost feels like a spell over you-
Like she's charming.
Or even seen her before,
She gives you feeling that's perfect for
Patronus charming.
To send away those demons,
But with this girl within my sight
The charming's even pleasing!
My spirits remain on top,
For now that I'm charming
I've made the dementors stop!
Though you were charming, those weren't dementors you stopped.
I still say it's charming I've made the dementors stop!
Let's go, Harry,
Oh, let's go, Katie.
It's so nice to be captain of such a team.
You're looking swell, Freddy,
I can tell, Georgie,
We've been training while it's raining
But now it's bright and clear!
I hear the fans cheering-
Though the Snakes are jeering-
But that just gives me reason more to say,
"Ready up, fellas;
Do we wanna win that Cup, fellas?"
Maybe we'll have that winning day today!
Let's go, Ollie,
Oh, let's go, Ollie!
It's so nice to have you captain of our team.
We've got chills, Ollie;
This game thrills, Ollie.
We've been training while it's raining;
Now it's bright and clear!
We hear the fans cheering-
Though the Snakes are jeering-
But that just gives you reason more to say-
Grab your brooms, fellows;
Our destiny looms, fellows!
Maybe we'll have that winning day today!
Harry lost a broomstick at one of our first games
And we then fell into a slump.
But since our own Seeker's got him a new broomstick,
We are all ready to kick Slytherin's rump!
Slytherin's rump?
Thank you gang; you're all my favorite men!
And women!
You're looking great, Alicia;
Same for you, Angelina.
Oliver's overjoyed and overwhelmed at such a team!
We groan at your speeches
Of tearing teams to pieces,
And yet we still listen to all you have to say,
So-
So, ready up, fellas;
We're gonna win that Cup, fellas!
Maybe we'll have that winning day today!
Oh, let's go, Ollie!
It's so nice to have you captain of our team.
We've got chills, Ollie;
This game thrills, Ollie.
We've been training while it's raining;
Now it's bright and clear!
We groan at your speeches
Of tearing teams to pieces,
And yet we still listen to all you have to say,
So-
Hey, hey, hey, fellas!
What now?
We're gonna win today, fellas!
And how!
Maybe we'll have that winning day today!
We've won, Ollie!
Oh, we've won Ollie!
Thank oh so much for captaining
Our team.
We'd have never flew, Ollie,
Nearly half so well nor
Been able to tell
We'd won the Cup.
Here's the Cup, fellows!
It took a lot more than luck, fellows!
We finally had our winning day . . .
Today!
Well, we've won, Ollie!
Thank you oh so much for captaining
Our team!
From that thrill, Ollie,
Even training while it was raining
Made it worth it all.
With these memories that make us grin,
I'll hold my wand tight and begin,
And "Expecto Patronum, Expecto--"
I'll be charming!
With the happiness I feel now,
My heart feels quite fit to pop,
And now with my charming
I'll make those dementors stop!
And then though the new one was doomed,
I finally used my Firebolt,
My winning racing broom.
Take off the Quidditch robes; we're finally knocked 'em dead!
We've waited far too long to bring our team back up!
Angelina, Alicia, Katie, George, and Fred.
Add Ollie Wood,
And our Harry, too,
And you've got a winning lineup!
Put up your broom and check that your robes don't tear.
We finally gave our House a glorious name!
Our red and gold
Are plenty bold
For our winning team to wear!
We've won, Ollie,
Well, we've won, Ollie!
Thank you oh so much for captaining
Our team
So--
No, thank you, fellows!
Now I'm off to Puddlemere U., fellows!
But you finally had your winning day today!
Harry Potter
the Musical(s)