YOU'RE A GOOD MAN, DUMBLEDORE

A Half-Blood Prince musical adapted from Clark Gesner's You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown by JustLivePosthumously

ACT I

ACT II

Copyright 2009 by JustLivePosthumously

This is an adaption of the 1999 Broadway Revival of You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown. The main inspiration behind this show is the Peanuts comic strips and that concept is carried throughout the entire production. In the original play, there is no plot line, no story, little character development, and no sequence. There are only jokes, rising and falling action per scene, and a really funny run-through of Peanuts classics like Charlie Brown flying a kite, Lucy hamming up to Schroeder while he plays Beethoven, Linus and his blanket, Snoopy’s antics, and psychiatric help for five cents. When rewriting this show, I decided that to keep this disjointed comic strip style alive and decided to cast the show retrospectively, that is sometime in Harry’s later years as he recalls the events leading up to Dumbledore’s funeral. I chose to use a magical scrapbook that would employ Pensieve memories and allow us all to reenter these fatal times in Harry’s life. The show begins at the White Tomb and jumps thematically through the important scenes in Book Six like Draco’s task, Narcissa and Snape’s vow, Harry’s suspicions and relationships, and the discovery of Voldemort’s past and Horcrux ambitions. The show is designed to be reflective and viewed from outside the story, continually reinforcing the idea that this is a play (perhaps this show is a bit Brechtian, but I did not attempt to make it thus). The Book Report scene is simply a fun song that breaks down the fourth wall of theatre by allowing “supposed” audience members to come onstage, interrupt the show, and rant a little while on Harry Potter. Hopefully, all of this will be explained during the course of reading the below musical. Enjoy!

Opening/You're a Good Man, Dumbledore

Adapted from Opening/You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown

Scene: The stage is dimly lit and is empty except for a comfortable armchair and end table covered in books and papers. Behind them is a suspended wall that contains photos of Harry's family, friends, and parents, a portrait of Dumbledore and three empty picture frames. Before the music begins, a middle aged Harry Potter walks onto stage and sits down. Without narration, he picks up a book that is apparently an old photo album. The cover is decorated ornately and shows Hogwart's insignia. The book is believed to be Harry Potter's homemade year book from his sixth year. As he turns the pages, smoke fills the stage and Harry's armchair disappears. The music begins as the scene at Dumbledore's funeral is constructed. The eulogy is being read by the parson and his speech is overlapped by several other commentators simultaneously. The young Harry Potter sits center stage facing away from the funeral and listens absentmindedly before beginning his own speech.

THE "PARSON" PERSON (TUFTY-HAIRED MAN):
There is really is no accurate way to describe the intellectual contributions of Albus Dumbledore. His nobility of spirit and greatness of heart were truly present for a man of one-hundred and fifty years old. (ad lib with Charlie Brown "teacher talk" of "wah-wah-wah-wah")

RITA SKEETER (Overlapping):
The only thing wrong with Albus Dumbledore is his overconfidence; his superiority and his overconfidence. His genius, his superiority and his overconfidence. His solidity, his genius, his superiority and his overconfidence. His?

RUBEUS HAGRID (Overlapping):
Did'ya know that Dumbledore has always been the kindness headmaster, always able to make the teachers feel welcome, always findin' new Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers and puttin' up wid' me? Sometimes I wonder at his generosity.

WOMAN (perhaps J K Rowling herself!):
(Overlapping) Now Dumbledore has what you call a Father Face. Notice how it has wisdom written all over it. Study him carefully. You will never find a better example.

SCRIMGEOUR (Overlapping):
He truly led a good life. The life of a wizard you strove for security in this insecure world.

HARRY (Overlapping as the others fade off):
Some days I wake up early to watch the sunrise, and I think of how desperate times are, how my life lies unknown before me, and I get a very lonely feeling about things. Like this morning for instance, Dumbledore, my teacher lies dead -- my friend entombed. How could anyone have hope today?

It's gone!

FANG suddenly barks loudly, and all of the funeral-goers turn around in their seats and sing in unison.

FANG:
Woof!

ALL (except Harry):
You're a good man, Dumbledore
You're the kind of reminder we need
You have humility, nobility and a sense of honor that is very
Rare indeed.

FANG:
Woof!

ALL:
You're a good man, Dumbledore
You're a light for this world - you're a star
Yes it hard to believe
Almost frightening to conceive
That a dead man you are.

HAGRID (lifting the mood):
He was kind,

A group of singers stand and form into a choir directed by the WOMAN (ROWLING)

SELECT CHORUS:
He was kind to all the Muggleborns
And every student here
With a heart of love
Played his part like a glove

WOMAN (ROWLING) (turning around):
Every single sequel - every year.

CHORUS:
Was filled with curiosity
With work and time and play
Was truthful
Brave, impervious

RITA SKEETER (jumping up from her chair):
And he also had some faults
But for the moment let's just say

The funeral-goers begin walking about in small groups

ALL (except Harry):
He was a good man, Dumbledore
What a saint
What a scholarly jewel!
With a reign such as his
In the wizard world - gee-whiz
He's the number-one One of this school
He was the great Dumbledore!
We will miss you!

Harry suddenly sings center stage with the rest of the crowd turned towards the coffin

HARRY:
Everybody misses him

ALL:
You're a good man, Dumbledore

HARRY:
Voldemort still disses him

ALL:
You're a good man, Dumbledore

HARRY:
Working years for one Horcrux
Gulping poison 'til he pukes
Finding out that there are flukes
Snape "Judas-kisses" him

Wonder what he'd try to say

ALL:
You're a good man, Dumbledore

HARRY:
Never liked Snape, anyway

ALL:
You're a good man, Dumbledore

HARRY:
Trying to live up to fate
There's that prophecy
A good man? Me?
Like Dumble-dee?
I don't know what to be

	ALL (Turning to surround Harry) :
I wanna rise like I should And do everything right But I lie awake at night.... With questions in my ear
Oooh! Harry P! Oooh! Prophecy!
I want to finish strong
Oooh! Victory!

Because Voldemort is near!
As I hear....

ALL:
Boy Who Lived? Chosen One ?

WOMEN: You're a good man, Dumbledore! You're a good man, Dumbledore!
MEN: Boy Who Lived, the Chosen One!

PERSON I:
The Boy Who Lived!

PERSON II:
The Boy Who Lived!

PERSON III:
We know you are the Chosen One, Harry Potter!

WOMAN (ROWLING):
Don't wanna forget your fate!

OTHERS:
That's right!

WOMAN:
Don't wanna forget!

ALL:
Don't wanna forget your fate!

FANG:
Woof!

The crowd breaks into lines and weaves across stage

	HARRY:
ALL: Harry Potter? and Dumbledore You're the only salvation we need You are immortalized Yet mortalized And since one is dead now That means Harry takes the lead!
Here we go again Don't know what to do I'm trying and trying I have to still pull through

FANG:
Woof!

ALL:
Harry Potter
Is our man!

HARRY:
I'm not ready yet

ALL:
You're the hope
Of the hopeless and more
With your steady attack
We can take our future back
You could grow up
To be Dumbledore
With such a future in store
Like Dumbledore

HARRY is standing behind the coffin with a spotlight as if to suggest that all heroes suffer Dumbledore's fate. The rest of the crowd sings in the background

HARRY:
"Nitwit, oddment, blubber"

ALL (quietly):
Like Dumbledore

HARRY: Not forgetting "tweak" I've memorized Those words by heart He's gone now But I still need him
ALL: Believe it! And you were born for this part You're a good man? You're a good man, Dumbledore.

Why do the dead depart?

The crowd dances around the stage in several groups, creating a tableaux that depicts Harry behind the coffin and everyone pointing to him as Dumbledore's replacement

GROUP ONE (simultaneously):
You're a good man, Dumbledore
You're a good man, Dumbledore

GROUP TWO (simultaneously and led by Rowling):
Bravely facing
Adversity
Teaching love universally

GROUP THREE (simultaneously):
Oh, you're a good man
Oh yes, you're a good man

ALL (together and joined by Harry):
You're a good man,
Dumbledore!

Black out.

When the lights come up they show Snape's house. The older Harry Potter is standing next to Snape's desk and looking around. He is carrying his scrapbook and looks sentimentally at Snape's house. Harry walks behind a screen that shows him in silhouette. Suddenly, Snape enters with Narcissus and Bellatrixand the screen suddenly turns into just another segment of book shelf as the lights change.

Show'd Her

Adapted from Schroeder

Scene: Snape's home. Snape, Narcissus, and Bellatrix are discussing the Dark Lord's recent plans. As Narcissus begins explaining Draco's task, Bellatrix accidentally causes an old and blackened upright piano to start playing Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. Narcissus sings overtop the piano to an uninterested Snape.

NARCISSUS:
D'ya know something Sev'rus?
Draco, my son, he made this commitment by force
D'ya know something else?
We need some help from you
Because Draco is young and may not be able

The Dark Lord, he wants to punish my dear Lucius
His vengeance is burning and burns on my dear Lucius.
And Draco is the scapegoat
Voldemort's "go to"

Just imagine
Draco attempting to bring down the greatest of wizards!
How could he ever bring down, him, the greatest of wizards?

The piano begins to wind down and Narcissus pleads on her knees to Snape

(spoken) My sister Bellatrix was right, never try
To discuss life and death with a Death Eater!

The piano ends as Bellatrix chuckles lightly. Snape kneels down next to Narcissus and nods to Bellatrix to begin the ceremony for an Unbreakable Vow. As she lists the demands, the scene fills with fog and begins to move off stage. The older Harry is visible once again, this time alone on stage with a cauldron and a very old book. The Potion's classroom begins to form. And Slughorn enters and begins preparing his demonstration. The older Harry sets the cauldron down on a desk and places the book, which is the Half-Blood Prince's book into the cupboard before he walks off stage as the music begins.

My Potions and Me

Adapted from My Blanket and Me

Scene: Slughorn is alone in the Potions classroom mixing up the final batches of potions for his first class. He gently stirs the cauldrons and mumbles little phrases of delight

SLUGHORN (Smelling Veritaserum):
Mmmm.
(Over the Amortentia) Delightful.

Slughorn begins walking around and adding final touches with a sparkle. He stirs the Felix Felicis while humming to himself.

SLUGHORN (suddenly):
Making a potion without humming - is like wearing your robe without boxers.

He returns to his humming/stirring

(sung) My potions and me!

He rings a bell and the students slowly come into class and take their seats. Harry and Ron explain their Potions' book situation. Harry takes the Half-Blood Prince book and sits down admiring its strange writing. Slughorn begins the demonstration and challenges the students to make a Draught of Living Death

DRACO (laughing at Harry's "new" book):
Look at that silly little loser, Potter, with his silly little Potions book!

ANOTHER SLYTHERIN:
There's that silly Potter with his silly little Potions book!

DRACO:
Well, you know how losers are with their potions!

HARRY (ignoring them):
Whaddya mean?

It's a potion-makers treasure
Tells the proper way to measure
Martha Stuart for the wizard chef-to-be
If your recipe is crummy
Check out "Potions Book For Dummies"
The best resource, it's a help-yourself degree
Now I know I shouldn't use it
But it don't hurt to peruse it
I'll just a skim a page to find a recipe

La la la la….

He reads a while, grabs a sopophorous bean and sings each word while giving the bean a squeeze with his knife.

Yes, I'll read
A page
And
Use
It
When
In…

Ron suddenly shouts as his bean shoots across the room

RON:
Aarrrggghh!

HARRY (spoken to audience):
Don't ever need to study again!

SLUGHORN (to Ron):
You're a hopeless case, Wingaby!

Slughorn turns to the class and announces the remaining time

HARRY (spoken):
I think I can do it…
I actually think I can do it…

He is stirring following the specific stirring instructions and reaches a breakthrough. Hermione looks on in dismay. He begins dancing around the room, unseen by others and swings the book around with pathetic admiration. The others work furiously to catch up with Harry. He even does the Charlie Brown dance!

(sung) Though cheating, I'll cheat it
'Cuz right now, I need it
This Half-Blood
Prince is better…

The other students look on gloomily as Slughorn hands Harry the Felix Felicis as the prize. They acknowledge that Harry Potter's potion skills are better than their own. They slowly leave the room.

HERMIONE:
Than me.

DRACO:
And me.

RON:
And me.

SLUGHORN:
And me.

HARRY:
And (pause) me.

Proceeds immediately into the next song.

S-L-U-G (Slug Club Theme)

Adapted from T-E-A-M (The Baseball Game)

Scene: The only characters on stage are Slughorn and the young Harry Potter. Suddenly, Slughorn shouts out to the audience, who may gladly respond. His chant is also replied by several students as they burst out from concealment.

SLUGHORN:
Gimme a "S"!

CLUB:
"S"!

SLUGHORN:
Gimme a "L"!

CLUB:
"L"!

SLUGHORN:
Gimme a "U"!

CLUB:
"U"!

SLUGHORN:
Gimme a "G"!

CLUB:
"G"!

SLUGHORN:
What've you got?

CLUB:
Slug!

The students begin clearing the Potions room set and prepare for one of the dinners with Slughorn while they sing.

There is no club like the Slug Club
Not a snob snub, but dear
He will show you in the Slug Club
Of a vision shining bright and clear
And in no time, you'll be big time
With the Good Old Wizard stars
For Slughorn holds the answer to celebrity
And the future he gives is ours!

SLUGHORN:
Dear students….
You'll never guess the contacts you'll make
In the wizard world.
Good ones and bad, the contacts you'll make
In the wizard world.
Barnabas Cuffe, editor of The Prophet
I found him before he could write, or spell things
And somehow or other he turned around
In the wizard world.

Eat up!

The students dig into their dinners and chat

Toast!

Slughorn creates a magical flying bottle and fills everyone's glasses, which they raise in a collective "Aaaahhh!"

SLUGHORN:
To wizards!

STUDENT I (Hermione):
And witches!

STUDENT II (McLaggen):
And warlocks!

STUDENT III (Zabini):
And werewolves!

One student barks in imitation. One girls acts like she is fainting and screams. Ginny performs a charm to keep her from falling

SLUGHORN (laughing in amusement and amazement):
I think you've got it!

(singing) Ambrosius Flumes
The Honeydukes mogul was just a lad
Found him a job for Ciceron Harkiss
This wealthy cad.
Managing numbers, accounting, bartending
He finally baked him a pie -- fantastic
And Ciceron funded his Hogsmeade pub
With Flumes the manager guy.

Democles Melby, invented the wolfsbane
The Order of Merlin received
Taught him right here, every hour of Potions
And mentored him too, I believe.

Yes, I know Gwenog Jones
Holyhead Harpies captain
And who do think made his pro-Quidditch
Contract happen?

(spoken above the chorus below)
All right everyone, we're all familiar, sort of. Longbottom here, I know his grandmother, Augusta. And McLaggen's Uncle and I have gone riding in Norfolk for years. Now all you have to do is show up, shape up, and keep Slughorn in touch.

STUDENTS (simultaneously with above):
Go Sluggy Club, Sluggy Club, Sluggy Club.
There is no club
Like the Slub Club
Not a snob snub
But dear
He will show you
In the Slub Club
Of a vision shining bright and clear
And in no time, we'll be big time
With the Good Old Wizard stars

For Slughorn holds the answers for
Celebrity!

SLUGHORN (spoken):
And the future I give is yours!

STUDENTS (echoing):
Ours! Ours! Ours!

SLUGHORN (sung slower):
Lily Evans, a student of mine
Bore the Boy-Who-Lived

STUDENTS (whispered):
One Boy…Who-Lived

SLUGHORN:
Such a sweet girl, this cute little
Red-headed girl who'd give
Great demonstrations of potioning skill
And now Harry, her son, is the proof…

STUDENTS (in amazement):
What?!?

Those knowing about the HBP's book follow up with "Oh!"

SLUGHORN:
Dear students, I'm told with my help
You really go far
You will need my direction
On how to be more than you are

Slughorn's dear Slug Club

Proceeds into next song.

In Flitwick's Music Class

Adapted from Glee Club Rehearsal

The class exits the stage and Slughorn walks off slowly. He is replaced by Professor Flitwick, who is played by the musical director of the orchestra, who proceeds from the pit to center stage. He taps his baton/wand on a music stand, the only prop in the next scene. Twelve to sixteen students form a choir that includes young Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Dean, Neville, Luna, Ernie Macmillan, Draco, Crabbe, Goyle and others. This is the All House Choir which Flitwick addresses.

FLITWICK (spoken):
Remember, this is a Hogwart's classic. We must conjure a picture with magical words. And concentrate!

Flitwick blows into the end of his wand and produces a pitch sounding like a harmonica. The choir "tune" in their wands and voices, producing a horrifying out-of-tune pitch

Remember... Adagio con magioso

Flitwick points his wand offstage and we hear the final cadence of "Home on the Range" played by an old piano.

			CHOIR (joined when possible by those interjecting)
			Oh, give me a dorm
			Of the Hog-a-warts form
			Where the magic and
			Myst'ry can flow
		HARRY (to Hermione)
		What's Draco hiding?
			Where spell books are
			Learned
			And the potions are
			Churned
	HERMIONE (to Harry)
	You're out of your mind.
			And the tubers and
			Mandrakes can grow
	(noticing Ron and Lavender)
	If he's snoggging her
	One more time, Harry	Draco is plotting	Oh,
	I'm just going to	to kill us!	Hogwarts, our home
	Scream!		Where the wizards and
		Draco can't do it!	Witches can play.
RON:
Shh!
Just a second, Harry,	What're they trying to		Your old graceful walls
Lavender is....	prove!? Don't even give up		And your great dining halls
	To breathe!
Ron is pulled in
for another smooch		Harry notices that Draco,
		Crabbe & Goyle leave and ponders
		Maybe he's lonely
This girlfriend is crazy!			Will remain in our hearts ev'ry day.
		(pointing out Ginny kissing Dean)
		Ach! Ginny?!
		Ginny giggles
No!			We cannot pretend
			Dearest Hogwarts our friend
Hey! That's my sister!	Harry, it just isn't fair!

FLITWICK (shouting in irritation):
Sing!

All join and sing with much embellishment

How magically wondrous you are!

LAVENDER BROWN:
Why are you shouting, my Won-Won…

The Game

Adapted from The Kite

Scene: Ron is at breakfast before the game against Slytherin and is utterly terrified at losing the game because of his lack of nerves.

With a flourish of red and gold, green and black, fans enter the Great Hall and Ron begins to sing nervously.

RON:
Little more speed, little more lift
Little more wind, little more drift
Gotta win this stupid Quidditch match

Gotta make sure on every ball
I don't quit. I don't fall
Gotta watch out for ev'ry little - whoops!

He grabs a napkin and tries to wipe up the food he spilled on himself because he is shaking so much

Little less speed, little more back
Little more eyes, pickin' up slack
Gotta keep my wits about me now.
Gotta make sure McLaggen's second-best to me
Gottta get us through this game somehow

Millions of Keepers, they do it ev'ry day
They see a hoop and "poof," they're on their game
Leave it to me to have these clumsy nerves
Who likes to make a Weasley look lame

Little more broom, little more air
Little less room, little less fair
Gotta stop the Quaffle eye to eye
Now that I've played for over a year
Harry still wants me here
Playing this game I love, don't ask me why!

Why, me, why!

Harry suddenly hands him a drink and tricks Ron into believing he's taken Felix Felicis

Wait a minute
What's this feeling?
I'm not a bit afraid
I'm not a timid mouse
I am a man!
Look at me,
I've caught the fever
I'm a believer
Oh, yes I can!

Oh -
This Ron is not the same
And I'm not such a Weasley King
I can easily bring
Victory and
Win this game!

He runs off stage, brimming with confidence, while Harry shakes is clearly unopened bottle in front of Hermione to explain his sudden transformation.

Following this scene could be actual footage from the Quidditch match, but in any case, the curtain should fall that conceals the breakfast scene.

The intermission is brief and again the older Harry's living room is alone on stage.

Scene: The older Harry sits in his arm chair and reads his book. He looks long at a certain page, reaches into the drawer of the end table and pulls out a large photograph of Draco Malfoy. He walks over to the wall behind him and slips the photograph into the frame as the stage darkens.

Sneaky

Adapted from Snoopy

Scene: Malfoy walks onto the dark stage and sings in a spotlight. Behind him a large cabinet and several tables covered in antiques and other artifacts are rolled onto stage creating the Unknowable Room.

DRACO (unconvincingly):
He likes me.
He makes me swoon
Isn't it commendable
That I "eat death" so soon

Eating death isn't wrong
Life goes on, just get along
Not bad, not bad at all.

Eater's mark, a mask on head
Better try, or Daddy's dead
Not bad, not bad at all.

Faithfully
I will serve him
Try my best
'else I'll die

Little tasks
To preserve him
Ev'ry day
Working here
On my lunch break
Or the middle of the night
When its usually cold
And my magic's not working
And sometimes things are too risky
That I can hardly stand it…

Why me!

Crabbe and Goyle suddenly appear in female apparel from behind the cabinet and play a menacing fanfare on kazoos

I feel ev'ry now and then
That I'm gonna biff this thing
I want ev'ry now and then, just to take a breath
This dreadful adventure is like an indenture to death!

CRABBE and GOYLE (singing in falsetto):
La la la la la la la la la la la la la

GOYLE (singing as a bass):
La la la la la la la la la la la la la

DRACO:
I work very very hard
Never get a break or two
I work knowing very well ev'ry second counts
I simply am waiting and anticipating the pounce!

Malfoy motions an aggressive spell, like an Avada Kedavra

The pounce!
The pounce!
The…

Draco breaks down at the thought of actually killing Dumbledore

(spoken) You know, I never realized it was so difficult to actually kill someone?

(Returning to work) Let me see, where was I?
Oh, that's right, I have to try
Not bad, not bad at all

Dumbledore, he's my man
I will kill him if I can
Not bad - Up against a wall!

Showing his Death Mark while standing center stage with spotlight.

Not bad, not bad at all

(spoken) I wonder if I'll get some sleep tonight?

Malfoy walks off as the older Harry walks over to his living room area. He pulls out another photograph, this one of Professor Slughorn. He slides it into the frame and walks off stage.

Prof. Slughorn: No Spin

Adapted from The Doctor Is In

The Scene: Slughorn's old classroom. Tom Riddle is talking to him about his future and looking for info on Horcruxes.

TOM (spoken):
Oh, Slughorn. I'm so impressed. I don't know how I'll ever live up to you.

SLUGHORN (spoken):
I think what you need most all, Tommy-boy is to come right out and admit all of the things that are good about you.

TOM:
All right, I'll try.
(sung) I've always been handsome and clever, and gifted
I've always won honours, a magical hero
I've never been caught stealing pendants,
or earrings, or vases, or armour, or lockets or headgear.

I'm usually super at parties and dances
I impress the teachers, headmaster and staff
And I don't get detentions, and I'm proud of my race
And I don't release creatures that tear up the place

But oh, don't compare me to you!
There's no wizard as powerful, magical,
Awesomely great as you.

SLUGHORN (spoken):
Thanks, but that's only a starter.

TOM:
A starter?

SLUGHORN:
Certainly. You don't think that mentioning these few achievements is going to get you anywhere, do you?
Why Tommy boy, there's so much more in store.

SLUGHORN (sung):
You're talent of gossip is charming

TOM (sung):
I'm charming

SLUGHORN:
You know what I think when I speak.

TOM:
Yes I do.
And people obey me
Like Malfoy, and Goyle, and Crabbe, and Yaxley

Tom whispers this in an attempt at subliminal control, by making it appear that Slughorn first said it.

And Slughorn…

(full voice) And Slughorn

And serpents…

SLUGHORN: Or Sn-
SLUGHORN: And ser-

(spoken) Wait a minute. You mean to say…

TOM (interrupting):
They must obey a Parseltongue descended from Salazar himself! That's a given.

SLUGHORN (a bit worried):
(sung) And serpents…

Oh, how, am I ever to teach
This young wizard so powerful, magical, wonderfully -

TOM:
Wait!
(sung) A person is only a mortal

SLUGHORN:
That's certain
But yet there's a reason for hope

TOM:
There's hope?

SLUGHORN:
A person has means of becoming immortal
Like Nicholas Flamel…

TOM (interjecting):
Or use a Horcrux!

This word is followed by a dramatic piano sting

SLUGHORN:
To make a divisible soul
Is a crime for a powerful, murderous, and
corruptive wretch

TOM (to audience):
That's me!

SLUGHORN (completely unaware of Tom's interest in what he is saying):
The darkest deed you could do
Hypothetically true, Tommy-boy
It's true.

TOM (spoken):
Professor Slughorn, you really know some things. I'm beginning to feel better about myself already. You're a great man, Slughorn, a true friend.

SLUGHORN (spoken suddenly):
And thanks for the glazed pineapple, Tom.

The stage fills with smoke and the scene changes to Dumbledore's office. Young Harry and Dumbledore are talking about Slughorn's memory. They explain how Harry managed to get the memory that the audience just saw. They explain their plan to discover more about Voldemort's past and ventures and his ambition to create Horcruxes. At some point, young Harry asks more about the prophecy that is so important to everyone. Dumbledore answers him but also picks up another couple of vials from the Pensieve and dumps them in. He says that they will view several scenes that explain the hype about the prophecy, Harry's birth and development, and Voldemort's death day, which many had anticipated too early and cheered about with the title "V-day = Voldemort Day"

V-Day = Voldemort Day

Adapted from Beethoven Day

Scene: Old Dumbledore steps into the role of young Dumbledore and sings about the recent prophecy.

DUMBLEDORE:
Call the Ministry
And tell them this news
We've got a prophecy
That pays up their dues
A day of victory
A day of magic:
Voldemort's equal!

Several bystanders hear Dumbledore say Voldemort's name aloud. They begin to gossip amongst each other and question Dumbledore. Whenever they speak of Voldemort, one also says Victory in order to make the name more approachable.

PERSON I and II:
Victory/Voldemort's day?

DUMBLEDORE:
His name is fair to mention

PERSON III and IV:
Victory/Voldemort's day?

DUMBLEDORE:
The hope of each dimension
This prophecy is sure be
The next wizard craze

The end of Voldemort's days!

PERSON V and VI:
Victory/Voldemort day?

This fabled Ministry worker (played by the same woman as Rowling in Scene One) seems to know everything about Voldemort's past and was unfortunately missing while Dumbledore investigated seventeen years later. She explains.

MINISTRY WORKER (spoken):
Yes. As in Tom Marvolo Riddle, aka Lord Voldemort
Born December 31, 1926, dying some time soon. The last remaining heir of the Gaunts,
Tom's mother, Merope, is supposed to have used Amortentia on a local horse rider named….

MINISTER OF MAGIC (spoken):
No one cares! Dumbledore, I just want you to know that the Ministry is on your side. I want to help, publicity-wise, with Voldemort's death day.

DUMBLEDORE:
(spoken) Thanks you for your support, but I just don't want to see Voldemort's equal commercialized at such a....

MINISTER OF MAGIC:
Commercialized?

DUMBLEDORE:
(spoken) Yes. The next thing you know they'll be selling Ministry sweatshirts.

PERSON I and II enter wearing sweatshirts covered with propaganda and the phrase Victory/Voldemort Day

PERSON I and II (sung):
Victory/Voldemort's day.

DUMBLEDORE (continuing his song):
If you're questioning
"Now, who is this boy?"
There's two suggestions
That fill my heart with joy!
One is a Longbottom
The other Potter!
Voldemort's equals!

ALL (completely ignoring Neville and jumping to Harry Potter):
Harry Potter!

DUMBLEDORE (correcting them):
That's only one sure option

ALL:
Harry Potter!

MINISTER OF MAGIC:
He'll have a great adoption
The Ministry will take control
And train him to be -

ALL (answering):
The death of Voldemort-y!

At this point, the memory begins to fade to the present time. As a bridge, the chorus chants "The Chosen One" and "Boy-Who-Lived" to the strains of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony. Rapid scenes of the previous five years move across stage, Daily Prophet headlines role, appearances are made by Fudge and Umbridge. The Minister is replaced with Scrimgeour. They press Harry on all sides toward center stage

MINISTER:
The Chosen One

OTHERS (in groups):
The Boy-Who-Lived
The Chosen One
The Boy-Who-Lived

MINISTER:
The Chosen One

OTHERS:
The Boy-Who-Lived
The Chosen One
The Boy-Who-Lived

GROUP I:
The Chosen Boy

GROUP II:
The One-Who-Lived

GROUP III:
The Chosen One

GROUP IV:
The Boy-Who-Lived

ALL GROUPS (simultaneously):
The Boy-Who-Lived.

SCRIMGEOUR (simultaneously):
The Boy-Who-Lived. Hey, hey, hey!

OTHERS:
Voldemort's death

SCRIMGEOUR:
A great prophetic trial

OTHERS:
Voldemort's death

DUMBLEDORE (realizing things have gone too far):
In big pathetic style

SCRIMGEOUR:
A moment of connection
Harry stand up say!

OTHERS:
Hooray! For Victory/Voldemort day!

Several members of the Ministry's Propaganda Committee meet together to make the most of Harry's publicity.

MINISTRY WORKER I:
I got it! We'll demand full-page photos of Harry and Scrimgeour!

WORKER II:
We'll start an army of Harry look-a-likes!

WORKER III:
We'll build a Voldemort deathtrap!

WORKER IV:
We could have a talk show!

DUMBLEDORE (shouting):
Wait! That's too commercial!

SCRIMGEOUR (pushing Dumbledore aside):
Let's imagine it.
That glorious hour
When Harry triumphs
Over Voldemort's power
Won't we remember
This one prophecy
Voldemort's mistakes
When Harry makes
Him history!

OTHERS:
Yes, sir - e!

Victory/Voldemort day!

DUMBLEDORE:
Oh Harry, please don't buy it!

OTHERS:
Victory/Voldemort day!

DUMBLEDORE
Don't even let them try it!			OTHERS (led by Scrimgeour)
Now Harry please remember Your fate is not sealed
			Victory/Voldemort day!
You're not the only member
We know how you feel			On Victory/Voldemort day!
No matter if you live or die Just love, don't ask why!

Harry's
Not Voldemort's day!

OTHERS:
This day we're celebrating
Voldemort's death!

La la la la
La la la la
La la la la la

ALL:
Hooray! The memory fades away and the OTHERS walk off, leaving only Dumbledore and Harry. They say a few parting words about school. The older Harry is seen above them watching very sadly as he recalls all of these little moments that passed between him and Dumbledore.

Eventually, Dumbledore and young Harry are joined by others as Slughorn's party begins. Dumbledore exits, young Harry meets with Luna and others. The party goes splendidly until interrupted by Draco and Filch. Snape takes Draco aside as the party fades to blackout. A bright spotlight picks out Snape and Malfoy's discussion, while a dim spotlight shows Harry listening in.

His Dark Epiphany

Adapted from My New Philosophy

Scene: Harry listens in to Snape and Malfoy's discussion after the incident at Slughorn's Christmas party.

DRACO (referring to the Dark Lord):
Oh, yeah. Not what he thinks

SNAPE:
What?

DRACO:
That's my lord's epiphany. And yeah, That's what he thinks.

SNAPE:
Then, why aren't you telling me?

DRACO:
What?

SNAPE:
Why aren't you telling me?

DRACO:
"Why aren't you telling me?" Yeah right! I can use occlumency. "Why aren't you telling me?" Why aren't you telling me?"

Why I'm not telling you
It's not for you do to
My master's grave "to-do" list is my solo
He said, "Now, Draco boy,
I have this evil ploy"
Why would I tell you!

SNAPE:
His dark epiphany?

DRACO:
His dark epiphany!
(as Voldemort) Lil D?
(as Draco) I'm he

Draco points to a Daily Prophet showing Dumbledore's picture

(as Voldemort) You see.
(as Malfoy) Big D?
(as Voldemort) Big D.
(to Snape) And no needing help from ye!

And that's his dark epiphany!

SNAPE:
That's his dark epiphany?

DRACO:
No needing help from ye!
His dark epiphany!

SNAPE:
That's great, Draco, but I've made an Unbreakable Vow to your mother and your aunt and I have to….

DRACO:
No!! Don't like it? "No!" That's a good epiphany.
"No!" "No!" "No!"

SNAPE:
That's your great epiphany, huh?

DRACO:
Yes. (pause) I mean-- "No!"

A young Death Eater, see
Obeys epiphanies
They seem the key to me and keep things groovy
When someone sounds the call
The weakest have to fall
And that's my all-in-all

SNAPE:
Your next epiphany?

DRACO:
My next epiphany!

SNAPE:
Draco!
Some epiphanies are thoughtful:
"Cozy up and spy on Dumbledore."
Some epiphanies are fierce:

DRACO:
"Go kill Dumbledore or you'll hit the floor!"

BOTH:
Most epiphanies hurt like hell
Force feeding Death upon you

SNAPE:
Mine last a lifetime,

DRACO:
Mine soon will kill me

SNAPE:
But, Draco, there's no reason that you shouldn't succeed if you'd just let me help you. For instance, that attempt with Katie Bell was just a hasty failure that would have never worked…

DRACO:
No!

SNAPE (frustrated):
I can't help you!

DRACO:
"I can't help you!" Finally!

I'll keep your guarantee.
In my epiphanies
That old man's daisies will be my red roses
And yeah! That's what he thinks!"
And I'm not telling you?
No!
And
I can't stand you!

This task is far from easy
Dark Lord epiphany-easy
It's my time to-

You know, Dumbledore should really live every day as if it was the last day of his life.

Trelawney, obviously drunk. runs across stage from the Christmas party. She has clearly overhead them, and communicates her reaction to this ill omen.

TRELAWNEY (hysterically):
Aaugh! This is his last day!! This is it!! He only has
twenty-four hours left!! Help him! Help him! This is his last
day!! Aaugh!

DRACO:
Clearly, some epiphanies should not be shared with all people.

(Looking slyly at Snape) And that's my new epiphany!

Full blackout. ALL exit.

Seven Little Odd Things

Adapted from Little Known Facts

Scene: The older Harry stands in Dumbledore's office and looks at a table covered with several objects that are displayed as if for a presentation. We see Harry standing above Tom Riddle's diary, the Peverell ring, Hufflepuff's cup, Slytherin's locket, Ravenclaw's tiara, and a figurine of a snake (Nagini). This is a snapshot of every Horcrux and supposed Horcrux of Voldemort. Dumbledore and young Harry enter the stage and the older Harry suddenly replaces the snake, the locket, the tiara, the cup with pictures that hint toward their existence. The older Harry walks off stage.

Dumbledore shows young Harry the objects and begins to explain how Tom Riddle turned himself into a seven-part Voldemort.

DUMBLEDORE:
Do you see this book?
It is a Horcrux.
Made by Tom Riddle, a place to hide his thoughts
And soul!
But thankfully destroyed by a Basilisk

HARRY:
It all makes perfect sense now, doesn't it! That's very interesting.

DUMBLEDORE:
You should remember.
That in the Gaunt house.
A fam'ly heirloom passed down by Peverells
A ring!
You can see the damage it left on my fingers

HARRY:
Gosh, Dumbledore. You destroyed it?!!

DUMBLEDORE:
Now wait a minute, Harry. It wasn't that easy

(sung) But now you see,
That Voldemort is many,
In little bits
His soul divided
The seven parts
His Horcruxes are made of
They are key
And can't be slighted

HARRY:
Is that so?

DUMBLEDORE:
That's right. Once we run around all over and destroy them all. Each regained Horcrux will keep killing and killing him until he is returned to his frail mortal state.

HARRY:
But, that is crazy!

DUMBLEDORE:
Oh, good grief.

Dumbledore shows Harry a picture of Hufflepuff's cup

And this thing here.
It's called a chalice
Belonged to Helga
And Hepzibah, her heir
We know
That Voldemort desired it
And stole it.

(showing him a picture of the locket) D'you see this too?
It's called a locket,
Another heirloom, this one from Slytherin,
Was his,
But Merope, his mother
She sold it!

HARRY:
Oh, and Hepzibah Smith bought it at Borgin and Burkes. Just in time for young Voldemort to…

DUMBLEDORE:
And now you see
That Voldemort collected,
Many things,
From Hogwarts' founders

Dumbledore shows the insignia and possible artifacts from the other founders

Rowena Ravenclaw and our dear Godric
What did he find?
Where did he hide them?

HARRY:
Now, surely, we know that he wanted something from all four. But Gryffindor's sword was…

DUMBLEDORE:
After it showed up, in the Chamber of Secrets,
It came directly here. It may look like this Gryffindor relic is out but he could have found something else. There's no proof, Harry dear. No sure proof!

HARRY:
Oh, good grief!

DUMBLEDORE (holding up a sketch of Nagini , Voldemort's snake):
Harry, what do you think about the strange connection between Voldemort and his snake?

HARRY:
He made his snake, Nagini, into a Horcrux!

BOTH:
That's the seventh Horcrux
Quite the deadly influx
Now, keep in mind
Seven little odd things
That we
Must find!

After the song, Dumbledore and Harry explain how they are going to hunt down a Horcrux in the cave. They exit the stage through the audience. The spotlight follows them for a while but then shifts onto a young girl in the theatre who suddenly stands up. She is holding a book bag with all seven Harry Potter books and some other materials. She walks toward the stage.

The Book Report

Adapted from The Book Report

A GIRL "MISSY":
A book report on Harry Potter, Harry Potter, Harry James

Another spotlight reveals a scholarly man dressed like a pastor who holds up a copy of the Half-Blood Prince and a Bible

A MAN "REVEREND" (overlapping):
A book report on Harry Potter, Harry James As the Reverend moves towards stage, a teenage boy appears on stage absorbed in a laptop, which he sets up on Dumbledore's desk.

A BOY "BLOGGER" (overlapping):
A book report on Harry Potter, James

From the other side of the stage, a college age student walks on stage concealing his copy of Half-Blood Prince

A BOY "COLLEGE FAN":
A book report on Harry James

In another corner sits a young girl, who has dragged on a gigantic Snoopy-shaped cushion. "SNOOPY" GIRL opens up her book and reads.

ALL:
Potter.

From this point on, the characters remain in their separate quadrants of stage and begin to express their thoughts about Harry Potter. They do not acknowledge each other or the fact that they just appeared during the climax of Book Six to ruin the story!

MISSY:
Harry Potter is this stupid book About this stupid wizard who kills Voldemort or something soon or later

She counts how many pages of Harry Potter "Cliff Notes" or "Harry Potter For Dummies" are left

(1 - 17) Hmm. 83 to go.

BLOGGER:
The name of the book about which
This book report is about is
Harry Potter which is about this
Wizard.
I found it very --
I liked the part where --
It was a -

Forget spoilers! Snape kills Dumbledore!

And the part when everyone thought Draco Malfoy would give in and never attack
And then all of the Death Eaters come in behind, meanwhile Snape stabs his friend in the back
And for Potter, the frozen one, never was seen
And now he's, the Chosen one, Malfoy is clean
And then Dumbledore's cronies came all rushing in
And fought Death Eaters phonies who maybe will win
Though his men rushed in and the curses flew
Harry Potter and friends, there was nothing to do!

MISSY:
And Harry lived with people called the Dursleys!
[18 to 23]
Ohh!

THE REVEREND:
In examining a series such as Harry Potter, it is important that the superficial characteristics of it ever-widening popularity should not blind the reader to the more subversive fabric of its heathen motivations. In this report, I plan to discuss the theological implications of wizardry so demonic as to drive otherwise moral children to perform acts of idolatry which they unconsciously accept as fandom. I also hope to explore the personality of J. K. Rowling in her conflicting roles as writer and the anti-Christ!

Harry Potter is established form the start as a prophesied "Messiah" and it is only with…

COLLEGE FAN:
If I start reading now
When I'm just out of college
It could upset my image
Which is no good at all
I'll have to turn in my rentals
But they're not due till Wednesday
So I'll have all of Tuesday
Unless something should happen
Why does this always happen
I should be inside reading
Making up for my childhood
Which had no Harry Potter
So I'll read Harry Potter
I can't wait till tomorrow
I should start reading now
But if I start reading now
When the old hype is dying
There will be no more fanfics
Which is
No good at all.

MISSY:
The god-father dog's name was Sirius:
(24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30)
Yes!

BLOGGER:
Out came the curse from his wand - flash!
And Dumbledore hit the floor hard with loud crash
Then Snape was glad, maybe sad, maybe both - ah!
Our guess is wrong!

MISSY (skimming pages without reading):
35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40.

BLOGGER:
Rowling, just tell us the news - please!
Is there something behind Snapey's ruse? Geez!
And who the hell is this new RA Beese! Ah
We wait too long
And sing this song
Just like fans would
Who sing a lot
As you can tell
From this website
To Harry Potter
Which this retort
Is about

MISSY:
Harry Potter, Harry Potter, Harry, Harry Potter!

COLLEGE FAN (simultaneously with MISSY):
How do they expect me to
Read these giant books
Of great longevity
In just two days

How do they
Those children (perhaps nodding towards the "SNOOPY" GIRL)
Read so efficiently
And fuel sufficiently
This Potterised craze!

MISSY (with COLLEGE FAN):
These are characters
From the sequels

Such as Neville and Luna
And Seamus and Draco
And Freddy and Georgie
And Lupin and Moony
And Hagrid and Hedwig
McGonagall, Voldemort, Dumbledore
Hermione, Ginny and Ron!

THE REVEREND:
Not to mention to tje extreme emphasis placed
on the memorization of deeply demonic
spells, curses, hexes and magic!

"SNOOPY" GIRL:
Harry Potter, Harry Potter…

COLLEGE FAN (simultaneously with below):
If I start
Reading now
When I'm just
Out of college
It could
upset my
Image
Which is
no good
At all

No!

Book Six
Is a bad place to start!

BLOGGER (simultaneously):
The name of
the book
About which
This big
Potter fan
Is obsessed with

Harry Potter
Harry Potter

Six through one
Ev'ry book
Has my heart

Oh.

THE REVEREND:
What drives
Some otherwise
Moral children

To compose
Filks and

Musicals?
Musicals!

Social anomalies
Fueled by Rowling
Books that
Really

Should be burned

MISSY (simultaneously):
Harry Potter
Is this stupid
Book about this
Stupid wizard
Who kills
Voldemort
I guess, but
Not in
This book!

Book Six!
Book Six!

75, 76
77, 78, 79, 80,
81,
82.

"SNOOPY" GIRL (simultaneously):
Harry Potter (etc)

MISSY (moving on):
She tosses each of the first six-volumes onto the ground
And I was very, very, very, very, very, very
Happy to be done.

BLOGGER and "SNOOPY" GIRL:
The end.

MISSY:
The very, very, very end.

She is handed the seventh book and screams

THE REVEREND (flicking his lighter, he begins to burn the book):
A-men

COLLEGE FAN:
A book report on Harry Potter

COLLEGE FAN (simultaneously with below):
Just start
Reading

You can do it

Nothing to it

Got to

Start-

BLOGGER (simultaneously):
Harry Potter
Was
A lot like
Dumbledore

Harry Potter
Was
A lot like
Dumbledore

Harry Potter 3X Potter!

THE REVEREND:
Social anomalies

Infestations

Worthy of

Anyone's Condemnations

Harry Potter 3X Potter!

MISSY (enraged at the seventh book and mutilating it):
Harry Potter 8X

Harry Potter 3X Potter!

"SNOOPY" GIRL (pleasantly reading Book Seven):
Harry!

Potter!

Harry!

Potter!

Harry Potter 3X Potter!

COLLEGE FAN:
And I haven't even finished yet!

ALL (standing and holding their books above, whether they are burning, falling apart, on a laptop, or otherwise):
Harry Potter!

Blackout. They all exit but do not return to their seats and remain backstage.

Draco's Time

Adapted from Suppertime

Scene: During the blackout, the stage as been set to the Astronomy tower. Draco Malfoy appears in front with a spotlight while speaking

DRACO:
(spoken, growling and cringing in fear of Voldemort and the task before him): The Eater's Mark just shot off. It's Draco's time and Dumbledore will come shortly. (more crying) Here I wait, a whimpering, worrisome, mess of a boy, and here's my Mark (showing arm)…BURNING! But that's alright. He'll remember. When no Dumbledore comes to stop him taking charge, then he'll remember, and he'll release my father from shame before it'll be too late. Or else there will be nothing left of the once loyal family of the former lord who used to love to kill and hide so happily with him. Nothing left, but the blood traitors' fate of…

Dumbledore and Harry arrive back on their brooms, Dumbledore casts Harry away unseen with the Freezing Charm, while Draco shouts "Expelliarmus"

DUMBLEDORE (spoken):
Hello Draco, are you alone up here? I've been waiting the whole year for a moment alone with you?

DRACO (sung):
Dumbledore? Dumbledore!
Behold the greatest wizard stands unarmed
And is brought low by Draco Malfoy
Behold the moment long awaited now
Which I've prepared far in advance!

DUMBLEDORE (spoken):
Draco, there's no need for you to follow through. Just listen to me and you're safe.

DRACO (contemplating and stalling during the hi-hat bridge. Nervously scatting):
Doo doo
Doo doo doo doo.
Doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo.

It's Draco's time
Yeah, it's Draco's time.
Oh, it's Draco Malfoy's time, very best time for me!

It's Draco's time
Yeah, it's Draco's time.
And when Dumbledore's done, then Draco makes history.

Bbbbbbring on the Dark Arts, bring on Dark Lord
Bring on the challenge, I won't be floored.
'Cause I'm Draco
It's Draco, Draco Malfoy's time

Draco whistles distractedly (first four measures) while Dumbledore continues on about protection for him and his family.

DRACO:
Da-doo-m-ba-dah
Za-doo-buh ya-ba-doo-ba
Draco's time.

Doo doo doo doo dot doot.

Br-r-ing on the cabinet, bring on the curse
Bring on the coffin and find a hearse
'Cause I'm Draco
Never saw me coming
Draco
Never heard the drumming
Draco
Draco, Draco Malfoy's time

Dumbledore's time is fading fast
Dumbledore's day is wading past
My time, our time, his time too
As for you, there's nothing you can do
In
Draco's time
Ohhh yeahhh!
'Hello Harry Potter… where are ya?'

B-r-r-ring on the challenge for Daddy's son
(nearly breaking out in rage) Pappy's little puppy had loads of fun!
Now I'm Draco
Life is for the saving
Draco
Aint no misbehaving
Draco
Draco, Draco Malfoy's time

The other Death Eaters enter the tower and sing gospel back-up as they urge the frantically troubled Draco to follow through.

DEATH EATERS:		DRACO (shouting wildly as he
		has a nervous breakdown):
Draco's time!		Whoo! Whoo! Yeah!
Draco's time!		Bring it on, old man!
Draco's time!		It's time to die.
Draco's time!		Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Draco's time!		hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
		Draco's time!
Draco's time!		Oh, yeah!
Draco's time!		Bring on the curse.
Draco's time!		My time, my time on the tower!
Draco's time!		My time, my time and my power!
Draco's time!		My time, my time, ol' professor
		Bring it on, bring it on!

DRACO (with rattling intensity):
Gimme Death, I'm an Eater gimme some kinda thrill
Gimme Death, I'm an Eater, gimme someone to kill

SNAPE (entering dramatically):
NOW CUT THAT OUT!

(To Draco) Why couldn't you have killed him moments ago like any other man?

Malfoy breaks down

DUMBLEDORE (very softly):
Severus…

SNAPE raises his wand and kills Dumbledore with an Avada Kedavra curse.

(boldly, broad tempo, full voice): Draco --
Draco Malfoy's time is mine!

Blackout.

Destined for Happiness

Adapted from Happiness

The stage is reset to the White Tomb scene. A solitary light illuminates the coffin. The old Harry Potter enters and walks over to the coffin. He kneels down beside it and begins to cry. He has with him a portrait of Severus Snape. The young Harry enters and walks toward the coffin. The mourning old Harry picks up the portrait of Snape and walks off before young Harry speaks.

HARRY (looking at the coffin):
I'm so confused. That double-crossing backstabbing, turncoat killed Dumbledore. And he trusted Snape and saved me. He's human! No wonder he makes mistakes.

Harry looks over at the coffin and mutters something about how he doesn't know how to go forward and complete the prophecy. His destiny weighs him down. Other characters enter slowly as Harry sings.

My destiny is finding a Horcrux

RON:
Killing the bad guys

HERMIONE:
Turning back time

HARRY:
But happiness is learning to listen

GINNY:
Living again
For the eighth or ninth time

HARRY:
Destiny can't be taken lightly
To make your stand

RON, HERMIONE, and GINNY:
But happiness is fighting hand-in-hand

HARRY:
Destiny is finding an old book

RON and HERMIONE:
Suspecting Draco

SLUGHORN:
Making a friend

HARRY:
But happiness is tricking a Weasley

RON:
Winning at Quidditch

FRED and GEORGE:
Starting a trend

HARRY:
Destiny is being alone ev'ry now and then.

ALL WEASLEYS (past/present/future = Fleur and Hermione):
But happiness is coming home again.

HARRY:
Destiny is rising and resting,
Playtime and fight-time too.
But happiness is anyone and anything at all
That gets you through.

RON:
Happiness is having a sister

GINNY:
Snoggin' a boyfriend

BOTH and HARRY:
Getting along-

ALL (in a round):
Destiny is singing for loved ones when they pass through
But happiness is those who sing with you.
Destiny is wanting and waiting,
Working and winning too

HARRY:
But happiness is anyone and anything at all
That gets you through.

Harry walks over to Dumbledore's coffin and stands several seconds before speaking

You're a good man, Dumbledore.

Blackout.

Bows

Adapted from Bows

Scene: After a slight instrumental introduction. All the characters enter at once, join hands and sing.

ALL:
Destiny
Is wanting and waiting
Working and winning too

GROUP I (Harry)	GROUP II (Ginny)	GROUP III (Ron)	GROUP IV (Hermione)
Destiny is anything		Happiness is
		Destiny
Happiness is anyone	Harry, you are a
	Good man	You're a good man,	Destiny is where
		Dumbledore	things begin
	Harry, you are a
	Good man	Harry Potter and	Happiness is the
		Dumbledore	way to win
Destiny is Voldemort	Harry, you are a
	Good man
		Happiness is	Harry Potter
	Harry, you are a	Destiny	and Dumbledore
Happiness is Dumbledore	Good man
Happiness is	Harry Potter's	You're a good man-	You're a good man-
DESTINY!	DESTINY!	DUMBLEDORE!	DUMBLEDORE!

Oh, Hogwarts, Our Home!

Adapted from Home On The Range as arranged in You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown

Oh give me a dorm
Of the Hog-a-warts form...
Where the magic and myst'ry can flow
Where spell books are learned
And the potions are churned
And the tubers and mandrakes can grow

Oh, Hogwarts, our home
Where the wizards and witches can play
Your old graceful walls
And your great dining halls
Will remain in our hearts ev'ry day

We cannot pretend
Dearest Hog-a-warts friend
How magically wondrous you are
Through thick and through thin
Stand united we win
Conquer troubling news from a far

Oh, Hogwarts, our home
Where the wizards and witches can play
Your graceful old walls
And your great dining halls
Will remain in our hearts ev'ry day

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