Phantom of the Diary

To the tune of Prologue

The scene is Dumbledore's office, now nearly fifty after the events of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. The new headmaster has decided to clear out Dumbledore's old artifacts by selling them. A SALESMAN is guiding several people around the office, showing them things.

SALESMAN And here…we have the sword of Godric Gryffindor, an extraordinarily valuable artifact, which some museums have offered to pay as much as 3 million galleons for. Anyone wishing, however, to make a higher offer is welcome to do so. And…next we have Dumbledore's old Phoenix Fawkes, only just found after a half a century spent away from humankind…hiatus aside, this fine beast has never quite been the same after his master died in 1997, but still a healthy phoenix and will be available at the price of five hundred galleons.

VOICE (from the back) I'll pay it!

The SALESMAN turns around, to find himself facing the 62-year-old HARRY POTTER.

SALESMAN Yes, Mr. Potter, I'll take that down straightaway. Will you--

POTTER I have cash.

He hands it to the SALESMAN

Now give me the bird.

SALESMAN Er…yes, of course, Mr. Potter…

POTTER takes the bird and sings to it softly

POTTER
Well, I see boy that we're here
Neither of us too much worse for the wear
I'm now a bent and crippled man
But you'll keep living, as only a phoenix can
Will you still sing when there is nothing but dead air?

SALESMAN (spoken) Moving on, then…a tattered old book. Some of you may recall the time when we were being terrorized by Lord Voldemort, a character who has baffled historians. We are told, ladies and gentlemen, that this is the very diary used by Voldemort when he was 17, not to mention one of his fabled seven horcruxes. Aurors have restored it and even managed to preserve some of the original magic, so that we will not need to kill someone to see how it may have worked. Perhaps we may frighten away the Dark Lord of everyone's nightmares with a little ink?

He pulls out a bottle of ink

Gentlemen!

He tips the bottle of ink over the diary. The organ crashes down as an evil wind blows through the spectators, snuffing out all the candles as the diary slowly closes and reopens to reveal completely blank and crisp white pages. The same wind blows the pages back and forth and slowly, a macabre green fog begins to float out of the diary, covering the scene and slowly changing it back to its grandeur of fifty years ago. The scene changes, and we see now that the diary is sitting in the middle of a transfiguration textbook which is being clutched tightly by an eleven-year-old GINNY Weasley.