To the tune of Skid Row
RON, GEORGE, FRED and PERCY are explaining the particulars of life at their house to HARRY and HERMIONE.
RON (wearily)
We all wake up at seven
And breakfast is served!
We degnome our own lawn
For the spawn of those garden pests!
FRED & GEORGE
Sing it, bro!
RON
Still our mum knows best...
Yet we live...
ALL
Up here where no airplane flies!
We live up here far from prying eyes!
We live up here, where life's a reprise, same old show...
At the Burrow!
At the Burrow!
Yes, we live...
Up here, with the pigs and swine.
Up here, life's far from divine!
WEASLEY BOYS
Up here, where our sister whines...
RON (wearily)
Don't I know!
ALL
At the Burrow!
WEASLEYS
Dad works a desk job at the Ministry!
Dad works for pay which is quite miserly!
Buying all his lunches with a couple knuts!
It's a wonder his pay can still take more cuts!
And Dad works for people like that dumbass, Fudge!
Who haven't got the difference between brains and sludge!
His bosses are tyrannical and work him hard
And treat him like a dumb retard!
Home he comes...
Up here, where the wind will howl!
Up here, with our mangy owl!
Up here where our mother scowls come or go!
At the Burrow!
At the Burrow!
At the Burrow!
At the Burrow!
At the Burrow!
At the Burrow!
At the Burrow!
RON
Poor! All our lives, we've always been poor!
We have all learned not to want more!
There's no way we can even our score.
And what's more, man...
HARRY
Stop! I started life as an orphan,
A crime of the war, in Privet Drive.
They took me in, gave me shelter and hell
Beat me well if I cheeked.
Hated my guts and called me a freak
Which I'm not!
I like it...
Up here with you Weasley boys.
It's good up here, where I'm well employed.
It's nice up here, where I am enjoyed, not a foe!
At the Burrow!
I wish I had a way I could live with you!
Oh, please God, I do pray that I'll live with you!
Please won't Dumbledore say I could live with you?
Oh, just up here to live, gold I'll give you!
(simultaneous with below)
Give me something to do so I'll live with you!
My labor will be true, let me live with you!
Oh, my safety be screwed, I should live with you.
Those who say that you're poor just abhor you!
I'd gladly leave that hell just to live with you!
Bid the Dursleys farewell and just live with you!
I'll do everything well, Yes I will, yes sir!
'Cause the Muggle home feels like a sepulcher!
My protection is not a parameter!
Oh, believe me I could not be happier!
If I only could live with you at the
BURROW!
WEASLEYS (synonymous with above)
Up here...with the frisky gnomes!
Up here...in our dirty home!
Up here...ghouls live in the chrome, crying "oh"!
Up here, at high altitude!
Up here, always in bad moods!
Up here, though we've got some good food, not much dough!
Up here!
Up here!
Up here!
THE BURROW!
Malfoy and Son
To the tune of Mushnik and Son
LUCIUS and DRACO are down Knockturn Alley.
LUCIUS (spoken)
DRACO (spoken)
LUCIUS (sung)
DRACO
LUCIUS
DRACO
LUCIUS
DRACO
LUCIUS
They enter Borgin and Burkes.
BORGIN
LUCIUS
BORGIN
LUCIUS
BORGIN
DRACO
BORGIN
LUCIUS
Malfoy and Son, that's right!
DRACO
LUCIUS
BORGIN
DRACO
ALL
We're Having a Book Signing
To the tune of We're Closed for Renovation
FLOURISH AND BLOTTS ATTENDANTS
We have a little notion that tomorrow will be grey
Oh Lockhart has been selling
We're having a book signing
Selling the other books are chores!
Da-Doop
To the tune of the same name
Accompanied by the House Elf chorus, HARRY tells Hermione and Ron about Lockhart and the voice he heard .
HARRY (spoken)
ELVES
HARRY
ELVES
HARRY
ELVES
HARRY
ELVES
HARRY
ELVES
HARRY
ELVES
HARRY
ALL
HARRY
ELVES
HARRY
ELVES
HARRY
ELVES
HARRY
Snub the Dueling Club
To the tune of Don't It Go to Show Ya Never Know
LOCKHART
SNAPE (to himself)
LOCKHART
SNAPE
LOCKHART is thrown backwards.
LOCKHART
SNAPE
LOCKHART
Woohoo, volunteers now!
Harry Potter, get up here!
HARRY
LOCKHART
SNAPE
Someone from Slytherin!
CRABBE & GOYLE
DRACO
LOCKHART
SNAPE (to DRACO)
Let's do it!
DRACO
HARRY
casts spell
Bye, Malfoy!
DRACO
HARRY
SNAPE
Tom, Don't Be Mean
Sung to the tune of Somewhere that's Green
GINNY is writing in the "diary" about her fascination with Harry Potter.
GINNY
Still, that Potter's a hero!
Out on the Quidditch pitch...
DIARY (sarcastically)
GINNY
He reaches for the Snitch...
DIARY
GINNY
Between his scar and black hair
DIARY
GINNY (in a trance)
Just don't be mean.....
Answer Me!
To the tune of Grow For Me
ELVES
HARRY
(to Diary)
We've had some attacks here
Oh, Riddle, please help me.
Can you...
DIARY
HARRY
Episode with the diary. Afterwards, HARRY flies out again and stares at it in shock.
HARRY
This old Thomas Riddle
Answer me!
Follow the Spiders
To the tune of Feed Me!
FUDGE and DUMBLEDORE (knocking on Hagrid's cabin door)
HAGRID opens the door.
HAGRID
Yes, Headmaster...
Just tell me quick, Headmaster.
FUDGE
HAGRID
HARRY (under the cloak, to RON)
RON
FUDGE
HAGRID
LUCIUS appears.
LUCIUS
HAGRID
LUCIUS (chuckling)
DUMBLEDORE
THEY LEAVE.
HARRY
RON
Episode with Aragog. Afterwards, Ron is being sick in the pumpkin patch.
HARRY
RON
HARRY
Come to the Chamber Now
To the tune of Suppertime
The diary is persuading Ginny to come to the chamber with its hypnotic power.
DIARY
Come on, come on! think about all those Mudbloods!
Come on, come on.
Come on, come on.
The Heir is Back/Come to the Chamber Now II
Sung to the tune of Sominex/Suppertime II
SNAPE, MCGONAGALL and DUMBLEDORE are observing the writing on the wall.
SNAPE
MINERVA
DUMBLEDORE
MCGONAGALL and SNAPE
HARRY and RON come out of their hiding place once the three teachers have left.
HARRY
RON
HARRY
RON
BOTH
It's Just I'm Dead
To the tune of It's Just the Gas
The scene is Moaning Myrtle's toilet. HERMIONE, RON and HARRY have come in to brew the Polyjuice Potion.
MYRTLE
HERMIONE (sung)
MYRTLE (sung)
HERMIONE
MYRTLE
HERMIONE
MYRTLE (spoken, sniffling)
(sung)
HARRY, RON and HERMIONE
MYRTLE
HERMIONE
MYRTLE
HERMIONE
MYRTLE
MYRTLE dives down a toilet
HERMIONE
Author!
To the tune of Dentist!
LOCKHART is explaining the cold, hard facts to HARRY and RON about his books.
LOCKHART
HARRY AND RON
LOCKHART
"You'll be an author!
You're temperament's wrong for an Auror!
HARRY
RON
HARRY
BOTH
LOCKHART
I am an author!
I use all this creative diction
HARRY and RON (scandalized)
LOCKHART
Werewolves?
The Heir Enjoys Killing/The Unfair Heir of Slytherin
Sung to the tune of The Meek Shall Inherit and Mean Green Mother from Outer Space
TOM and HARRY are facing off. TOM explains the situation regarding his sudden malicious stance.
TOM
On the one hand Tom Riddle, so brave, model student. On the other Hagrid, who wrestled with Trolls.
I'm telling you, boy, it was easy to do it. It's over, I'm sorry. This scheme you can't thwart.
They say the Heir enjoys killing,
They say the Heir kills off Mudbloods.
HARRY
TOM
HARRY
TOM
No! No!
HARRY
TOM
The HOUSE ELVES enter here.
HOUSE ELVES
TOM
HOUSE ELVES
HARRY
HOUSE ELVES
TOM
HOUSE ELVES
HARRY
TOM
The music changes to the tune of Mean Green Mother from Outer Space.
HARRY (spoken)
TOM
HARRY
TOM
Don't you threaten me, boy!
The BASILISK slithers out of Slytherin's mouth.
Do you know what this creature is?
You don't know who you're messing with!
Get this straight!
BASILISK
TOM
Think you'll save your skin, kid?
FAWKES swoops in with the Sorting hat.
Are these the only weapons
You don't know what you're messing with!
The mudbloods will fall to me
Watch your back!
BASILISK
TOM
You think that you've blinded the basilisk?
You know, on your flesh my snake likes to dine
I've got vicious spells
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
BASILISK
TOM
BASILISK
TOM
BASILISK
TOM
BASILISK
TOM
It's OK, Ginny
To the tune of Suddenly Seymour
HARRY and GINNY are sitting in the chamber immediately following the situation with Riddle and the Basilisk.
GINNY (spoken)
Oh, Harry, I'm so sorry! I never meant to cause any trouble! Please don't be angry.
HARRY (spoken)
Ginny, it's alright. Everything's gonna be fine.
(sung)
Don't be afraid.
It's OK, Ginny,
It's OK, Ginny,
GINNY
HARRY
It's OK, Ginny,
GINNY
BOTH
It's OK, Ginny/Forgive me, Harry.
HARRY
BOTH
Finale/Don't Read the Book
ARTHUR and MOLLY Weasley are hearing the story of how Ginny was enchanted.
DUMBLEDORE: Subsequent to Lucius Malfoy fighting you, he dropped this simple book in Ginny's cauldron. A book which bore a striking resemblance to the thoughts within the mind of Voldemort!
(sung) Subsequent to the fight with Lucius Malfoy
Now the book worked its evil design
ARTHUR
ARTHUR puts his hands on his daughter's shoulders and looks her straight in the eyes
Whether it is a newspaper clip
It may be quite an innocent thing
MOLLY
ALL
Draco...
Dad?
Keep close to me when we're down here!
I do not want to lose my precious only child!
Of coming here I never tire
But with the werewolves and vampires
You could arouse their evil ire.
Stay close.
Yes, sire.
Draco, remember, do not touch.
For some of the stuff here is volatile at best.
A hand of glory and a mask....
A bunch of poison in a flask...
This place was made to give you creeps...
Don't be afraid of all these creeps.
Malfoy and son!
How nice!
I'll sell nicely, pick your price!
Three gall-e-ons will suffice for me.
Don't want to buy? Oh hell.
In fact, I am here to sell.
I'll pay you as well as I fit see.
What is that hand within the glass?
The hand of glory, it's a friend of thugs and thieves.
Draco, we won't buy from this shop
But if your grades do not pick up
A thief or thug may be your fate!
For your grades put up a fight!
That Mudblood takes out a bite from me!
Now Borgin, don't be coy.
Give me something for these toys.
Dark Arts I enjoy...
He's smart as Tolstoy!
I'm an evil boy!
Malfoy and son!
We're having a book signing
For Lockhart book promotion
The guy is here in person
To stir lady emotion!
So we're having the book signing today!
Because of all his smiling
Because of his dashingness
The profits up are piling!
When we've made fortunes on the books this brilliant man does write
Other authors will be nowhere in sight!
For Lockhart book promotion
This man's flows out like water!
A literary ocean!
The owls ain't stopped coming
Between them there's no delay!
The Lockhart books fly out the stores!
They sell like hell on all the shores!
The other authors all are bores!
The audience their stuff deplores!
While Lockhart books just grow like spores!
We're having a book signing today!
I was stuck doing detention with Lockhart tonight...
Dang-da doop!
And I had to help him answer his fan mail.
Fan-da doop!
He had me doing it for about four hours.
Yawn-da doop!
Because after all, he had absolutely no idea what time it was since he was having fun.
Da-da-da-da-da-da doop!
He was going to let me out because it was getting late.
Twelve-da doop!
So I was just gonna leave his office.
Go on through.
When suddenly, and without warning, I heard this....
Frightening voice in the walls!
It hissed a bit, and it said a lot of homicidal sayings like it was REALLY hungry. And when it stopped talking, Lockhart didn't even know it had been there.
Dumb-da doop!
He just...though I was kind of weirded out.
Lost a screw.
Now, I could have sworn it was there. But I left his office puzzled anyway.
Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-loo!
Do any of you have any idea what it means?
Since I know you students are hating me
Sev'rus Snape is gonna be aiding me
Teaching you how to duel
In light of the attacks!
That idiot couldn't fight off a boggart..
I cannot stand this idiot Lockhart.
I'm gonna give him a taste of some Slytherin smack!
When I'm done he'll wish he would be given the sack!
Here's how we start off the fight, boys and girls watch and learn.
Though a wand isn't trite, it can have you well burned.
What a show-off, he's an idiotic darn puss.
I will show him! Expelliarmus!
You was great throwing that curse at me, Severus.
You looked more idiotic than a giant in a suit!
But it was a little obvious what you were going to do, Severus.
Just take out that wand and have no fear!
Only to disarm now, is that clear?
How can I block spells if they come up?
(strange gesture)
Do that now.
That was queer.
I'm ready to snub this dueling club.
Please, for heaven's sake, though, try to win!
Go on up there, Draco. Ain't a sin.
I'm gonna sink Potter like a sub!
Just watch this!
He'll be binned
And then we can snub this dueling club!
Draco, Potter, let's see this duel!
Here's a wicked idea.
Go out there and cast Serpensortia.
Then he'll clamor to run for his miserable life!
It's a curse that'll scare him.
If not, it will probably impair him.
Show Potter the true meaning of the English word strife!
Are you scared?
Don't be stupid, Draco, this fight's fair.
I just flick my wand and then and there
I'll do more than have your dumb toe stubbed!
You won't dare
When my snake has snubbed this dueling club!
Let's cast this spell at once!
It's just not in Potter's experience.
Seeing a snake without being near a fence!
It'll make him into serpent grub!
Bye, Potter!
Serpensortia, dunce!
Oh, good God!
I'll be hung!
Potter is...
A Parseltongue!
Snakey from the wand of Drake...
Leave Justin Finch-Fletchley alone, bub!
Finite!
Potter a freak I dub!
He did more than snub this dueling club!
Harry is so hot, crikey!
But I don't think he'll ever like me!
So I love him from afar
But in return he won't give.
But I fear he thinks I'm a queer, though.
And I dream of a time
When I could kiss the boy who lived!
Within the Gryffindor dorms...
I don't care where we'd fall in love
All I want is his form!
Well, please spare me the details
And just get the bed sheets cleaned!
I'm not thinking that far,
Tom, don't be mean!
He fights off Voldemort!
I watch him full of respect
'Cause I really like his sort.
He sounds almost too perfect
Does he have a noisy spleen?
That's nasty to think of!
Tom, don't be mean!
And his manner, nonchalant...
He seems like such a nice boy
And his fame he doesn't like to flaunt!
You sound too excited.
I'm Riddle, I know well
That you love Harry Potter
That he gives your poor heart hell.
Yet he's still just another kid
In t-shirts, shoes and jeans!
(hypnotically)
Sit there, be calm.
Listen to Tom.
Doo....sha la la doo! Wop wop!
Doo...sha la la doo! Wop Wop!
Doo...sha la la doo! Wop Wop!
Dooo....
This diary's weirdo
It speaks like a kid
I wonder, to make it...
What Tom Riddle did.
So, Mr. Tom Riddle, from what you've been through...
Can you...
Answer me?
All around the school
They say it's from Slyth'rin
Who sounds really cruel.
Just tell me what's true.
Answer me?
I just cannot tell you from this medium of contact
But in this book I have kept the mem'ries of my times there intact.
I'll show you what happened when I was a Hogwarts student.
I'll show you the answer
Through this diary's mem'ries
Who took a traitorous bent?
That episode chilled me
Right down to the bone
Looks like it was Hagrid
Who turned students to stone!
Caught up to Hagrid...
He did....
He did....
Hagrid!
Hagrid!
Hagrid!
Yes, Headmaster?
What's the problem, now?
Spit it out!
Let me hear it....
What's the problem now?
So for recovery you allow...
Hagrid, you are under arrest.
I'm sorry, but I think it's best.
If you wanna save me from being messed...
Follow the spiders!
They will give you info.
If you think you've got the threat nailed,
Arachnids have a different tale.
Somebody, I swear it won't fail...
Follow the spiders!
Hey, come on Weasley, he's our friend!
He's a real nice guy!
I do not like this, man.
Spiders are ugly guys..
Why not the butterflies?
Why spiders, Hagrid, oh man, WHY?!!
Come now, Hagrid, do not hang back.
We have gotta stop the guy behind these attacks.
It's against you, Hagrid, the cold hard facts,
And not spiders.
I will come....I will come...
I'm struck dumb....but if you want information...
In the wood....go without....hesitation.
Dumbledore, you blund'ring old fool...
You're suspended as head of this school!
Oh, Malfoy this is really, really, really not cool!
They'll die without him!
They'll die without him...
If the governors want me gone,
My actions shall of course, correspond.
But if anyone any help from me wants,
Then just ask it.
If we want to save our friend,
Then we've gotta enter the dark wood.
Follow them to the bitter end...
Why spiders? This is so not good!
If we want to save Hagrid,
It really isn't hard to tell
Despite that Thomas Riddle kid...
The guy don't deserve a prison cell!
The guy don't deserve a prison cell!
The guy don't deserve a prison cell!
Oh, those spiders made me so sick.
Gross or not, those spiders, they made the info click!
Some arachnids just did the trick!
Some arachnids just did the trick!
Some arachnids just did the trick!
Thank you, spiders!
They're onto your mistakes...
They know what you commit.
You've gotta run quickly
You can't afford to sit.
They've got you, holy cow!
Come to the chamber now.
Come on, come on, remember, you're guilty!
Come on, come on! Ain't no time to get caught, now!
C-c-c-come on! We're both on the same page!
At your crimes those fools take umbrage!
Come on, come on.
Come on, come down...
To the Chamber!
The Chamber!
Come on, come on.
Come on, come down!
To the Chamber!
The Chamber!
The CHAMBER!!!
The Heir is back.
What will we do, Headmaster?
It's sad to think the student down there's
Ginny Weasley, youngest Weasley.
We'll close the school...
But gee, how sad this should occur.
God, Minerva,
Severus, man...
Close the gates.
Yes sir.
Oh what a mess, what a shame!
My sister down there alone...
It's rotten luck, my good friend.
This thing chills me to the bone!
We're going down there quick
To make that basilisk tick!
Come on, let's gird ourselves up
Need all the help we can get
Lockhart could help us out
He's not that keen, though, I'll bet.
That snake will become chow
When we attack it now!
I'm Moaning Myrtle! I wouldn't expect you to know me! No one ever cares about Miserable, moaning, moaping Myrtle!
Myrtle, my dear
It's so nice to see you today, you look pretty.
Don't waste time on me with your stupid, trite pity
I know you detest me because I just cry all the time.
Myrtle, my dear.
You're mistaken, we don't think you're a bore at all, but...
Is there any way could use any stall that
Is free of grime?
What...do you want?
Why....are you here?
You just hate me!
No, my dear!
Yes sir, you do! You're just lying! I'll just show you right now that ghosts have feelings too. Sit down and shut up, will ya?
Don't be fooled that I'm transparent
Or that I can float around
It's just I'm dead...(sob) I cannot feel.
But don't let that fact deceive you
My emotions are quite real.
My day was nice, you can still spoil it
Though I walk through walls and toilets.
I don't know why I chose this way to exist..(gulp)
'Cause I really know that I would not be missed.
What we have here is a ghost with quite a temper.
Lest we placate her at once we cannot brew the Polyjuice!
It's true a ghost is not a human
But say that, she won't like you then
And we want to have a steady, ghostly truce!
Don't be fooled that I am see-through
Like the finest shawl of gauze.
It's just I'm dead...(wail)...It really sucks.
But don't let my death revolt you
I'm still a young girl deluxe.
All my vital signs have vanished
And my substance has been banished
You'll be just like me when you all go and die!
We don't hate you, Moaning Myrtle!
But my screams your blood does curdle.
Everyone hates me...
Oh, Myrtle, please don't...
WAAAAAAHHHH!!!
...Cry.
When I was younger, just a devious tot...
My mother noticed that I fibbed a lot.
I wrestled hippogriffs in fantasy
Stories I'd rip, so credit went to me!
Then to a conclusion my mom was led!
That's when she up and said...
What did she say?
She said, "Since you like telling lies
Then, in my eyes,
Only one job with deceit complies."
You have a talent for lying like heck!
Son, be an author!
People will pay to read your useless dreck!
St. Mungo's would ask you to leave.
Son, be an author!
You're free to deceive!"
You mean you never did any of that stuff?
I knew it all along, you're a fraud!
You're an author and you'll never ever tell stories right!
Who lets their credit go to a silly sod?
Well, they never incriminate
They don't do that with Obliviate!
And I feel fine with the lies that I tell!
I am an author!
And I'm afraid it keeps me living well...
And yet pass my work off as hard nonfiction!
An Author?!
And since my books are all lies to the core..
.
I hold all of my great fan club love dear.
However, I gotta get my ass out of here!
So...see ya!
'Cause I'm an author,
Not an Auror!
All....
Vampires?
All....
The Ghouls?
All...Bullshit!
Harry Potter, so finally you arrive. This is an occasion, I've waited long.
Sit down. Have a seat, I am here to talk business. You thought it was Hagrid, I'll tell you you're wrong.
Prepare to be shocked when you hear the real tale of how I conned the teachers mind, body and soul!
I'm the darkest wizard who e'er went to this school. Tom Marvolo Riddle? I'm Lord Voldemort!
You know they have me so right.
For Slytherin I was willing
To put up a pureblood fight.
Well, who do you think I killed?
It was the fault of that dumb Weasley girl,
She's so weak-willed!
You are a monster!
I don't believe this!
You had no right to send so many kids to death.
I'm heir to Slytherin!
Nat'rally I'm devious!
You can't convince me I'm wrong,
So don't waste your breath!
You hurt so many!
Why did you do it?
What you did to this school was just like sacrilege!
You're still being stupid.
Honesty, screw it!
I grew up in a bloody awful orphanage!
There's only so much you can take!
No! No!
I do not think I made a mistake!
No! No!
I had no alternative, Harry Potter.
I wanted nothing more than to have them all slaughtered.
It was Myrtle that went first, my basilisk got her.
I killed off that Mudblood rotter!
But why...pick...Ginny?
Tiny Ginny?
She was an innocent who wouldn't serve you right
As, say, L. Malfoy or Potions masters
Do you think they had the heart to that
Girl indict?
They say the Heir enjoys killing,
I was of great import...
You know they have him so right.
Lord Voldemort...
For Slytherin he was willing
I won't abort.
To put up a pureblood fight.
Disaster you court!
For my li'l snake you'll be filling
You'll drop dead from his eye!
It was the fault of that dumb Weasley girl!
So to the Muggle and Wizarding world
So to the Muggle and Wizarding world
Say Good bye!
You're not gonna get away with this, your kind never does!
Hahahahahaha!
I don't care what it takes, only one of us gets out of here alive!
Well, I'm sorry, Potter.
You know, I've got your wand.
Be afraid, young Harry.
You're in the deep despond.
You've got a lot of guts!
We're gonna see you die, now.
Here comes the basilisk, you putz!
It's more than just some snake.
You can't fight it, you little fool!
Run for your own sake!
Potter, have no doubt,
If you don't know who I am yet
You are about to find it out!
I am the unfair heir of Slytherin
And I'm mad!
He's mad!
I am the unfair heir of Slytherin
A highly evil Hogwarts grad!
I am the unfair heir of Slytherin
You have no idea what a scrape you're in!
I'm an unfair heir
And I am mad!
I really think you'll die.
You're doomed to die so quickly
I think I'll heave a sigh.
Dumble sends his friend?
A crumpled up hat
And a bird nearing its end?
You can't screw me up!
You can't beat up my basilisk
On you he's gonna sup!
You see, Dumble will be missed.
You say, that ain't fair?
You say, that ain't nice?
You know what I say? Well, hisssssss!
I'm just the unfair heir of Slytherin
And I'm mad!
He's mad!
I'm just the unfair heir of Slytherin
Whereas you're a teenage lad!
I'm just the unfair heir of Slytherin
I give genocide a snakey spin!
I'm an unfair heir!
And I am mad!
You think he's been beaten? Oh, tsk tsk!
Don't talk to me about homicide!
You think I'm evil? In that I have pride!
He comes courtesy of Slyth'rin bloodline.
You can keep on saying
"You know who"
I'm that person, it's bloody true!
Evil mind
I'm an evil guy who is dern unkind!
So with your resistance I am bored
You get the point? I am the bad Dark Lord!
Be afraid!
I am the unfair heir of Slytherin
And I'm mad!
He's mad!
I am the unfair heir of Slytherin
My snake don't like you in his pad!
I am the unfair heir of Slytherin
And I will tell you boy, I am gonna win!
I'm an unfair heir!
Unfair heir of Slytherin!
I'm an unfair heir!
Unfair heir of Slytherin!
I'm an unfair heir!
Hahahahahaha!
Unfair heir of Slytherin!
Unfair heir of Slytherin!
And I am....MAD!!!!
Lift up your head.
Straighten out your red hair.
Here, snuggle close up,
Wipe those tears from your eyes.
Riddle was beaten.
When I come around...
The bad guy just dies!
I'm here to protect you.
You shouldn't be sorry.
You weren't that involved.
The School won't reject you.
The Headmaster won't mind it
Now that it's solved.
I can't believe you
Are treating me nicely!
My brothers hate me...
I'm made fun of.
My world was bland and you made it more spicy.
I gave you my mind, body and love!
It's OK, Ginny,
I'm here to protect you.
That bad, wicked journal
Caused you despair.
The school won't reject you
It wasn't your fault, girl...
You weren't aware.
Tell me you at least want to be my friend
Tell me you won't hold this all against me.
I'll be loyal to the bitter end of life.
It's a spark of hope that you have here sent me!
Nothing will harm you/me. (Nothing will harm me.)
It's OK, Ginny/Forgive me, Harry.
You'll/I'll be alright. (Yes...alright!)
The light side keeps winning.
Darkness can disarm you.
But with good intentions...
With good intentions...
With good intentions...
With good intentions...
But with good intentions,
Hope comes in sight!
This book tried to catch your unsuspecting daughter
She began talking with the darkest of wizards
And got sweet-talked into writing him.
Acting like to her it took a shine.
And Ginny proceeded to write....and write...
And begin what the book had in mind
A plan which was quite well refined...
To petrify, and wreak hell
And unnerve us all and destroy!
Oh my, Ginny!
Which has talent at giving guilt trips
If it thinks for itself too much,
Don't read the book!
Like a novel which happens to sing
But if you cannot see its brain,
Don't read the book!
Enchanted by You-Know-Who!
Good God! Well, what could she do?
Well, what could she do?
Well, what could she do?
Well, what could she do?
Well, what could she do?
If you don't enjoy being controlled,
Don't take anything with strength untold.
If at where its mind is you can't look...
If it thinks for itself a lot,
Or if its pages just cannot spot...
If it's ordinary, but not....
Don't read the book!
Don't read the book!
Harry Potter
the Musical(s)