Riddle (Tom Riddle Quartet)
Rubeus the Dubious (Tom Riddle)
Seventy-Six Spiders (Fudge, Lucius, Dumbledore, Hagrid, Harry & Ron)
Ya Got Trouble (Lockhart)
She's All Right (Alright) (Harry & Ron)
Ginny Weasley/Will I Ever Tell (Ginny Weasley, Tom Riddle Quartet)
The Way To The Chamber (Harry, Ron, Lockhart)
It's You (Tom Riddle Quartet)
That's What You Do (Harry, and the entire company)
Copyright 2008 by JustLivePosthumously
AUTHOR'S NOTE:The Music Man is filled with gossiping, false identities, and hatred toward salesman. I linked it with The Chamber of Secrets because they both include many fakes, some comedy, and the cheesiness of Lockhart/Harold (Harry!) Hill. I gave the quartet songs to Tom Riddle's diary. It is rather eerie to have Tom only able to communicate through four-part harmony.
This filk-musical is based on the original Broadway Cast album.
Dobby Is Your Servant
Adapted from Gary, Indiana
Harry enters his room, and Dobby is waiting in the dark. After some converse and head-bashing, Dobby explains himself
DOBBY:
I cannot give you the slightest of indication
The Weasleys Will Rescue You Tonight!
Adapted from Sadder But Wiser Girl For Me
After receiving the notice from the Ministry, Harry Potter feels trapped, like he'll never be able to go to Hogwarts or leave the Dursley.
But suddenly, the Weasleys show up flying outside the window in their father's Ford Anglia - Harry lets them inside
FRED (spoken)
GEORGE (spoken)
FRED (spoken)
(sung)
I have no affirmative, you would do it
GEORGE (sung)
ALL THREE WEASLEYS
Borgin and Burkes
Adapted from Overture-Rock Island
Harry enters Borgin and Burkes of Knockturn Alley via the Floo Network. He hides among the artifacts as the Malfoys enter the store.
A few other customers occasionally come in also
(spoken)
BORGIN: Mornin' mister Malfoy, morning mister Malfoy
rhythmically spoken, becoming more heated
BORGIN: Cash for the magic arts, cash for the evil tricks
The Malfoys and customers exit. Borgin turns his back and Harry escapes. He runs into the Weasleys and Grangers.
Goodlookin' Lockhart
Adapted from Shi-poo-pi!
Harry and the Weasleys are shopping at Flourish and Blotts, where Gilderoy is having a book-signing
LOCKHART'S ANNOUNCER (spoken)
Calm down ladies…don't push…all right everybody, here he is….
LOCKHART (sung)
MEN
LOCKHART
WOMEN
LOCKHART
ALL
LOCKHART
ALL
LOCKHART
When I'm up and against a pixie
ALL
LOCKHART
MEN
LOCKHART
WOMEN
Lockhart twirls around signing autographs and giving out copies of Magical Me. The ladies are fawning over him as he dances in the way
Lockhart would be expected to dance - cheesily
ALL
Flourish and Blotts
Adapted from The Piano Lesson
Mr. Weasley and family are confronted with Lucius Malfoy
LUCIUS
ARTHUR
(looking away)
LUCUIUS
ARTHUR
LUCIUS
ARTHUR
LUCIUS
ARTHUR
LUCIUS
ARTHUR
LUCIUS (sarcastically)
ARTHUR
LUCIUS (sung)
ARTHUR (jumping in the song)
LUCIUS
ARTHUR
LUCIUS
ARTHUR
LUCIUS
ARTHUR
LUCIUS
ARTHUR
Arthur and Lucius run at each other and start to fight
Dobby is your servant, Dobby is your servant, Dobby is your servant
He will do the best for you
Dobby is your servant, Dobby is your servant, Dobby is your servant
That's the only job I do
If you'd like to have a logical explanation
How I happened on this terrible occupation
I will say without a moment of hesitation
For a house-elf, see
Cannot e'er be free
Oh, Dobby is your servant, Dobby is your servant
You are very humble, kind, direct, and honored. Yes!
But Dobby is your servant
Dobby is your servant
Dobby is your servant
I'll try my best
Of the rules regarding slavery vindication
All the fam'lies in the house-elf syndication
Are the pureblood race
Now I bash my face
Oh, Dobby is your servant, Dobby is your servant
Please forgive me, sorry, but I cannot let you go
For Dobby is your servant
Dobby is your servant,
Dobby is your servant,
The best you'll know
No fed up, crazy nasty gibbering Uncle Vernon will ever hold you…
That kinda man don't know his left from his right…
Now listen, boy-
No boy who breaks a little magic law
Will be the laughingstock of Hogwarts and be the big guffaw
Oh well, I know we will get through it
Your silly, serious, stupid Uncle Vernon
No sir!
He won't be able to keep you here
I can tell you that right now
Let's go, don't fear - How can anyone ever catch us here?
It's true, that we - are the guys that can get you to safety
With us, Weasleys - any lock you can find, we've got the keys
The Weasleys will rescue you tonight!
We've come to take you, make you, save you, oh, Harry!
Listen now
We only want to help you have a little fun
I prefer our little Ford, get your bags and hop on board
No other good friends
Would keep defending, all the time, we're not pretending
No buddy, boy-oh, brethren, old boy!
No sir!
Why we're the best of them, they're the rest, you see? PLOP!
C'mon, get in - we're the jolliest friends a boy could win
You'll want to hide - all your limbs and appendages deep inside
You will have fun - after all the ride has only just begun
The Weasleys have rescued you tonight, oh yeah!
The Weasleys have rescued you tonight!
LUCIUS: You're open for the day, I need a good place for a trade in
BORGIN: All right, all right
DRACO: Father, when do I get my present.
LUCIUS: Why, I'm right on it, Draco, you need a new broomstick. 'S that what you want?
DRACO: No sir!
LUCIUS: Ha, ha! Nor anybody else.
BORGIN: Lookin' for a gift, Malfoy, right. Borgin's got it, right
LUCIUS: Cash for the pride and fame, cash for the Dark Arts
BORGIN: Cash for the whispered curse, cash for the potions
DRACO: Cash for the presents and the priceless little knick-knacks
LUCIUS: Cash for the broomsticks, books, and betterment
BORGIN: Cash for the locket, and the skulls, and the spiderwebs
CUSTOMER 1: Look whatayatalk, whatayatalk, whatayatalk, whatayatalk, whatayatalk?
CUSTOMER 2: Wheredayagitit?
CUSTOMER 1: Whatayatalk?
LUCIUS: Ya can talk, ya can talk, ya can bicker, ya can talk, ya can bicker, bicker, bicker, bicker, ya can talk, ya can talk, ya can talk, talk, talk, talk, bicker, bicker, bicker, ya can talk all ya wanta but it's different than it was
BORGIN: No it ain't, no it ain't, but ya gotta hate the Ministry!
CUSTOMERS: Shh shh shh shh shh shh shh
LUCIUS: Why it's the Muggle's new act made the trouble, made the wizards wanna help, wanna hide, wanna hide, wanna hit up and hide
Seven, eight, nine, ten, twelve, fourteen, twenty-two, twenty-three raids by the Ministry
CUSTOMERS: Yes sir, yes sir
BORGIN: Who's gonna patronize a little bitty Dark Arts store kinda store anymore?
CUSTOMER 1: Whatayatalk, whatayatalk?
CUSTOMER 2: Wheredayagitit?
LUCIUS: Not the Ministry at all, take a gander at the school, at the Hogwarts school, where the Muggle-Bloods rule, at the Muggle-Blood Hogwarts Half-Blood watered-down magic school
CUSTOMER 1: Whatayatalk. whatayatalk, whatayatalk, whatayatalk whatyatalk?
CUSTOMER 2: Wheredayagitit?
CUSTOMER 1: Whatayatalk, whatayatalk, whatayatalk?
CUSTOMER 2: Wheredayagitit?
LUCIUS: Ya can talk, ya can bicker, ya can talk, ya can bicker ya can talk, talk, talk, talk, bicker, bicker, bicker, ya can talk all ya wanta but it's different than it was
BORGIN: No it ain't, but ya gotta hate the Ministry!
LUCIUS: Why, it's a, you gotta Muggle, made the trouble, you gotta, you gotta, help the Muggles out of trouble, out of trouble. You gotta Muggle out of trouble with a new act made by Mr. Weasley
Obsolete, obsolete!
DRACO: Obsolete, obsolete!
BORGIN: Obsolete!
LUCIUS: Mr. Weasley went out the window, with his pureblood family out with the trash, changed the approach of the pureblood family, made it pretty hard
BORGIN: No it didn't, no it didn't, but ya gotta hate the Ministry!
CUSTOMER 1: Gone, gone…
LUCIUS: Gone with the family rights and heritage, gone with the darker magic, Muggle-hatin' purebloods, gone with the truth and the rights and the power!
DRACO: And who've we left to blame, but that stupid Potter!
LUCIUS: Potter!
BORGIN: Potter!
CUSTOMER 1: Potter?
CUSTOMER 2: Potter?
OTHER CUSTOMERS: Potter!
SHRUNKEN HEAD: Potter!
PARROT or OWL: Potter!
DRACO: Potter.
ALL: AARGH!!
CUSTOMER 1: Just a minute, just a minute, just a minute
CUSTOMER 2: Never liked that little Potter boy!
DRACO: Oh he doesn't hate the Ministry
BORGIN: Doesn't hate the Ministry?
CUSTOMER 1: What's the wizard's line?
DRACO: Doesn't worry 'bout his line
CUSTOMER 2: Doesn't worry 'bout his line?
DRACO: Or the Muggle lovers bein' obsolete, or the purebloods are better by a good deal heritage family, or the Ministry fools
CUSTOMER 1: Just a minute, just a minute, just a minute!
DRACO: Never worries 'bout his line
CUSTOMER 2: Never worries 'bout his line?
DRACO: Or a doggone thing. He's just a worn out, wand waving, cheap shot, worshipped, high and mighty, scum beetle, everybody loves him - Half-Blood!
That's our little Harry Potter, Harry Potter!
CUSTOMER 1: Tell us, who's his friends!
CUSTOMER 2: Who's his friends!
BORGIN: He's a crook, and he doesn't hate the ministry!
CUSTOMER 1: Look, whatayatalk, whatayatalk, whatayatalk, whatayatalk?
DRACO: He's a foolish boy
CUSTOMER 1: He's a what?
CUSTOMER 2: He's a what?
DRACO: He's a foolish boy and he bonds everyday with the kids at the school that are big Mudbloods and Weasley's sons, Longbottom, Longbottom, the Granger girl, Granger girl. All Gryffindors too! With the shiny gold braid on the robe and the big red tie, runnin'…
LUCIUS: Well, I don't know much about you, but I don't want to look like a
Potter-hating snob club, no sir
Maybe not his friend, perhaps, but Draco, let me say that…
DRACO: No, that Potter is trash, just trash. I couldn't ever like him. But he thinks he's a king and he flounces and he feathers and he plucks and he shines and when the boy dances, certainly Dad, what else? The teachers praise him! Yes sir, yes sir, yes sir, yes sir. Yessir. When boy the dances, certainly boys, what else? The teachers praise him!
ALL: Yesssir, yesssir!
BORGIN: But he doesn't hate the Ministry!
The one and only -- Gilderoy Lockhart
Now the wizard who smiles for an autograph pose
And battles with a yeti
And the wizard whose faces is the number one shows
I'm anything but petty
For the wizard you see is the trouncer of tolls
Look at my nose, ev'ryone knows
From my head down to my toes - I'm just good-lookin'
Good-lookin', good-lookin', good-lookin'!
The girls can never part
When lookin', when lookin', when lookin'
At Gilderoy Lockhart
Take a good look, and sell for profit
Makin' first page on the Daily Prophet
Cut the photo out, it's for you locket
Never get far, 'cuz I'm in your pocket
G - I - L - D - E - R - Oh my!
L - O - C - K - H - A - R - T
Hags and gnomes and ghosts and banshees
Huntin' down a giant on the Ganges
Vampires in the cold of winter
Cold enough to make your stake wood splinter
G - I - L - D - E - R - Oh me oh my!
Ev'ry last gal that's a good gal
And ev'ry witch I meet
Looks at me like she's a go-gal
Who worships at my feet.
Makin' sure they don't get to tricksy
Defense 'gainst the artsy-farsty
Never do mind if its darksy-artsy
G - I - L - D - E - R - Oh me oh my!
I'm lookin', I'm lookin', I'm lookin'!
For use of the Dark Arts
Good-lookin', good-lookin', good-lookin'!
Oh, Gilderoy Lockhart!
He's lookin', he's lookin', he's lookin'!
To steal a witch's heart
Good-lookin', good lookin', good lookin'!
Oh, Gilderoy Lockhart!
Gil-de-roy Lock-hart!
Good-lookin'!
Weasley, I'm surprised you have any money left to buy books
Oh…you!
Busy time at the Ministry?
Did you want something?
'Fraid not!
Now what do you want?
Oh, nothing Weasley
Now don't stare, Mr. Weasley, you know what I look like
(sung) Oh well, I say, Look see
A wizard fam'ly that works so very hard but can't make a living running raids at the Ministry
(spoken) Don't pay overtime, Weasley?
Yes, I've been working hard, but I don't believe that's any of your business what the Ministry does about its raids
I know what the Ministry does
What's that?
Not nearly enough
Excuse me, but what is that supposed to imply?
You and the Ministry Muggle lovin' freaks
There you go again with the same old comment
About the low mentality of Muggle-living wizards
And takin' it all to much to heart
Now Weasley
As long as the Muggle Protection Act is entrusted to you
With the purpose of avoiding wizards ruling over Muggles
I can't help my concern that wizards of pureblood families
Keep ignoring all your counsel and advice
But Malfoy - When a wizard has some morals
And you've got none,
Why should I take advice from you?
Even if you can pull strings at the Ministry
And make an honest minister resign
Weasley, if you don't mind my sayin' so,
You have a bad habit, of shaming pureblood families
Now, I haven't shamed my family!
I have morals about living
What living!?!
Like a true man, who understands what's right and what's wrong
Ha!
Do you think that Muggle makes a wizard -
Now, really Weasley!
I have my standards where blood is concerned
And I have no intention -
I know all about your standards
And if you don't mind my sayin' so
There's not a wizard left
Who could hope to measure up to that blend'a
Bad blood, Slytherin, and who else knows what
You've concocted for yourself outta your pureblood reputation
Your Dark Lord's summoning, and your mansion filled with the Dark Arts
| OTHERS IN LIBRARY | HUFFLEPUFFS |
| Read a little, talk a little, read a little, talk a little Shh, shh, shh, Potter - The Heir of Slytherin Read a little, talk a little, read a little, talk a little Shh, shh, shh, Potter - The Heir of Slytherin
Read a little, talk a little, read a little, talk a little
Read a little, talk a little, read a little, talk a little
Read a little, talk a little, read a little, talk a little
Harry Potter is the Heir of… Read a little, talk a little….shh!!
|
Harry Potter Harry Potter Harry Potter Harry Potter The Heir of Slytherin
Harry Potter Harry Potter
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Who Knows Who's Right
Adapted from Goodnight My Someone
Dumbledore's office, after Harry is accused of harming the students
DUMBLEDORE (spoken)
I must ask you, Harry, whether there is anything you would like to tell me. Anything at all.
HARRY (spoken)
No. There isn't anything, Professor
DUMBLEDORE
That's alright. But now you know where my office is and you can tell me later if you'd like. Good night, Harry.
Harry exits down the spiral staircase, the piano begins as he thinks about everything that has happened lately
HARRY (sung)
The Sorting Hat nearly put me in
All Hogwarts is talking from door to door
I hear these voices, they speak so clear
Polyjuice Potion
Adapted from Wells Fargo Wagon
Myrtle's abandoned bathroom. The potion is finally ready.
HARRY, RON, HERMIONE
HERMIONE
HARRY
RON (tossing book over shoulder)
HERMIONE
ALL THREE
HARRY
RON
HERMIONE
HARRY
RON and HERMIONE
HARRY
RON and HERMIONE
HARRY
HARRY and RON
HERMIONE
RON and HARRY (in harmony)
HARRY (changing into Goyle)
RON (changing into Crabbe)
BOTH
Ron and Harry stare at themselves with disgust and wonder
RON and HARRY (Hermione holds high note)
Hermione's high note descends into a wailing sob. She eventually reveals that she is transformed into a cat.
ACT II
Riddle
Adapted from Sincere
Harry opens Tom Riddle's diary, and after writing a little bit, an eerie voice begins to come back out of the page. It sings in four part
harmony
QUARTET OF RIDDLE'S VOICE (ECHOES)
Rubeus The Dubious
Adapted from Marian the Librarian
After Harry enters Tom Riddle's memories, a strange voice begins to sing as he watches the scene before him. It is young Tom Riddle
revealing Hagrid's secret monster.
YOUNG TOM RIDDLE'S VOICE
Now in this story, a man can see it
And then when I found him out, erased the doubt
Seventy-Six Spiders
Adapted from Seventy-Six Trombones
Hagrid's hut. Harry and Ron are wearing the Invisibility Cloak. Dumbledore and Cornelius Fudge enter. Lucius Malfoy enters behind
them
FUDGE
Fudge unrolls another scroll
Rrr-rrr-ta
And to think, Lucius, that on Dumbledore's watch
Lucius opens a scroll and dances with pleasure
Rah rah rah dah dah dah dah
LUCIUS
FUDGE (shocked)
LUCIUS
FUDGE
LUCIUS (spoken under breath)
DUMBLEDORE ("looking" at Harry and Ron)
LUCIUS (bowing irreverently)
HAGRID (speaking out loud curiously)
They leave. Ron and Harry notice a train of spiders leading into the Forbidden Forest. They follow it
HARRY & RON:
Seventy-six spiders led into the dark
With the pincers clicking angrily about our fate
We attempted then to leave before we were meat
The Ford appears jazzily and they hop inside
Seventy-six spiders chased the Anglia
The escape continues until the Ford leaves the forest
Ya Got Trouble
Adapted from Ya Got Trouble
The Great Hall, the students are being rounded up. The teachers tell Lockhart to go and "fix" the problem. He responds with this song
LOCKHART (spoken)
(Rhythmically spoken)
And all year your Hogwarts
Trouble!
The audience, in parentheses, echoes Lockhart not convinced he can save them from anything
(Oh we got trouble)
Right here at Hogwarts!
With a capital "T"
We've surely got trouble!
Right here at Hogwarts
Gotta figger out a way
LOCKHART (spoken above the chant)
(sung) Ya got trouble
Right here at Hogwarts!
With a capital "T"
We've surely got trouble!
Right here at Hogwarts
Oh, we've got trouble
(looking at Lockhart)
You've got me!
And you all will see
You'll find safety!!!
(To find safety!!!)
Who's right about me; who knows my mind?
Who sees my future I try to find?
Am I the killer they're looking for?
Am I right, who knows, am I right?
The place where I could be Slytherin
Now who's the Heir they are looking for?
Was he right, who knows, was he right?
About how I spoke to a snake
But is that answer they're looking for?
Am I who they know, or am I just a fake?
I know their messages speak of fear
Am I person it's looking for?
Who is right, who knows who is right?
Who knows?
Who's right?
O-ho the Polyjuice Potion is a-comin' right along
Oh please let it stay unseen!
O-ho the Polyjuice Potion is a-comin' right along
I wish, I wish I knew what it could mean
We got permission from that cute Professor Lockhart
And then we got a good recipe
And after skimming through Moste Potente Potions
When it's assembled you won't be able to notice me
O-ho the Polyjuice Potion is a-comin' now
It is a hidden surprise identity
No longer Harry
Or Ron
I won't be Hermione
For we will be
Yes, we will be
Yes, you're right we surely will be
Crabbe and Goyle
Crabbe and Goyle, Crabbe and Goyle now
Instead of me
O-ho the Polyjuice Potion is a-comin' right along
Oh, don't let it mess up now!
O-ho the Polyjuice Potion is a-comin' right along
To let Hermione's potion take a bow
I stole the leeches and the knotgrass from the cupboard
And picked the fluxweed at the full moon
I brewed the lacewing flies for twenty days
The only part that's missing is the hair of two buffoon's
O-ho the Polyjuithce Pothion ith a-workin' nowb
Oh, its'ts not thuper cyool to be ugly
Thith ith dithguthting andth vile, ith'ts a degradathyun
But thith could be…thump'n thpethyul
Wait and see!
O-ho, you Polyjuice Potion keep a-workin'
O-ho, you Polyjuice Potion keep a-workin'
O-ho, you Polyjuice Potion don't you dare fail me
For we finally are what you see!
How can you ever be rid of Riddle?
Where is the Tom in this book? (The Tom in this book?)
My soul is captured with a good spell
Open me up and look (you can look)
Tell me, what can I say not sincere?
Oh, write anything that you feel
How can you ever be rid of Riddle?
Aren't I sincerely half-real
(I am for real)
Rubeus…
Acting so dubious
What can you do, Hagrid, who often hid
A vicious feature creature, sadly so true be this…Rubeus
Hogwarts help us, for the Chamber was finally opened
And the culprit left free among us
No one ever suspected poor Rubeus…acting so dubious
For when I stumbled in I knew that I wasn't invited
'Cuase I fin'ly found out the secret
And old Hagrid was busted so courteous…Hagrid called Rubeus
In this story
And a fellow would know that the Chamber
Was opened by someone so vague
Now the secret, is out of the bag
That monsters creeping keeping even so curious…Rubeus
It's a long lost tale that I was famous for
The notorious oaf would do no magic any more
For the Chamber was finally hidden behind its door
Thanks to dubious…Hagrid called Rubeus
Please sir, now I have your suspension here
Your suspension here
I will deal with the trouble now with this very scroll
This very scroll
Hagrid is the Chamber man
Now he's off to Azkaban
And I'm here to make a little sense of this terrible mess
That the Chamber would be opened again
Hear ye, hear ye. On order from the governor board
I declare that Dumbledore is no more
Oh Hogwart's holy king is a-tumbling down
If a man could do it my friend, oh yes
I said, Lucius, do ya hear me
I say Dumbledore needs to stay at Hogwart's
And I mean he's our only chance
Well the gov'ners voted on the matter
And put and end to that mad hatter
As sure as the Chamber is opened
This won't put an end to these attacks
Creevey, Fletchley, Granger, Clearwater
Pity…
All I'll say is that help will always be found
And I have never truly left this school
As long as the students are loyal
Ton-da-ta
And if anyone wanted ter find out some stuff,
All they'd have ter do is, uhh…
Follow the spiders.
I said…uh..just…uh
Follow the spiders.
And someone'll need ter feed Fang while I'm away
Seventy-six spiders led into the woods
As we quivered and quaked in fear down the trail
We were following rows and rows of some hairy arachnos…
So's the start of such a scary tale
Followed by two lit wands and a dog
There were more than a thousand trees
As far as eyes could see
We were carried off into a bog
Clickety-clack, clickety-clack, Aragog then spoke
Hagrid never opened up the Chamber gate
He was framed, it was a dirty joke
Thundering, thundering, hungrier than before
Spiders soon attacked us there
And chased us through the forest air
'Til we were discovered by a Ford!
As we drove it away as fast as you can
Every pincher went crunch, crunch, crunch
As the spiders sought to munch
Hagrid's not the Chamber Man!
The Chamber, don't you understand
Friends, either you're closing your eyes
to a situation you do not wish to acknowledge
Or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster indicated
By the opening of the Chamber of Secrets
Well, ya got trouble, my friends, right here
I say, trouble right here at Hogwarts.
Why sure I'm a little scared
Certainly mighty proud to say
I'm always mighty proud to say it
I consider that the years I spent
The track of a banshee are priceless
Help you cultivate horse sense
And a cool head and a keen eye
D'ever take and try to give
A half-dead vampire his death
With a silver bullet shot?
But just as I say,
It takes judgment, brains, and maturity to win
'Gainst a Dark Arts foe
I say that any Squib can take
And wave his wand at a wizard
And they call that magic
The first big fault in the world
With Dark Arts everywhere
I say, first, attacks from the Chamber
Then death by the buckets
And the next thing ya know,
This school is a center for killin'
With a Dark Arts curse
And speakin' 'bout some dark evil-lord master
Hearin' him tell about You-Know-Who
Not the hush-hush version, oh no!
But the tale that'll trap you into his gang
Like to see some pureblood Death Eater
Tellin' 'bout Mudbloods? Make your blood boil?
Well, I should say.
Now friends, lemme tell you what I mean.
I've got one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight books
Books that'll mark the difference
between a wizard and a Squib
With a magical me
You all will see that I stand for truth
Youth'll be chatterin away
I say your young students'll be chatterin
Chatterin' away their noontime, suppertime, classtime too!
Get the scoop on the gossip
Never mind gittin' history learned
Or their potions mixed or their homework finished.
Never mind learnin' any magic
'Til your students are caught with the chamber opened
On a typical night and that's trouble
Oh, yes we got lots and lots a' trouble
I'm thinkin' of the kids in the uniforms
Cloak-shod young ones, sittin' in the Chamber
Dying during school, ya got trouble! Folks,
Right here at Hogwarts
Trouble with a capital "T"
But you've got me and that means your safe!
Now, I know all you kids are the right kinda students
I'm gonna be perfectly frank
Ya like to know what kinda moderation goes on
While I'm fighting the Dark Arts off?
I'll be shouting Expelliarmus, shouting out Petrificus
Fighting like you've read about in read all my books
And thinking all about
How I'm gonna cover up a tell-tale breath with Obliviate
One fine night, I'll find the Chamber headed
For the Heir of old Slytherin
Petrified kids and evil whispers!
And Dark Arts! Shameless magic!
That'll grab my arm and my wand
In the arms of a evil terrible wizard
Mass-staria!
Friends, the Chamber Man will be Lockhart's dinner!
(Right here at Hogwarts)
And a magical me
And that means your safe
(We won't be safe)
(We've surely got trouble!)
(With him)
To keep the young ones safely while at school!
(Our children's children gonna have trouble, trouble, trouble, etc.)
Students of Hogwarts!
Heed the warning before it's too late!
Watch for the tell-tale signs of destruction!
The moment you leave your house
Do you notice a trail of blood leadin' to the Chamber?
Do you see a hateful message scrawled behind you?
A strange creature that follows you?
Are you starting to hear voices that sound like snake's hissing?
Are certain friends creeping into your conversations?
Friends like Harry Potter?
And Salazar Slytherin?
Well, if so my friends,
(Oh we got trouble)
(Right here at Hogwarts)
And a magical me
And that means your safe
(We won't be safe)
(We've surely got trouble!)
(With him)
Remember my books, Year with the Yeti and Magical Me!
(Our children's children gonna have trouble, trouble, trouble)
We're in terrible, terrible trouble
That man that the Secret Chamber keeps is the Slytherin Heir
(Slytherin Heir)
Oh yes we got trouble, trouble, trouble!
(Oh yes we got trouble, here we've got big, big trouble!)
(What a magical me)
(We all will flee)
| GINNY (almost hypnotized) | QUARTET OF TOM RIDDLE'S VOICE (more aggressive) |
Dreams are true, dreams are real Dreams are the ways that people can feel
I will tell you
Here I am, this is me
I will follow |
Ginny Weasley, Ginny Weasley Ginny Weasley you can tell me About your friends, your loves, Your fears
Ginny Weasley, you can tell me |
The Way To The Chamber
Adapted from Finale
Lockhart's office. He whistles casually as he tries to run away. Ron and Harry ask for his explanation.
LOCKHART
Harry avoids it by using an Expelliarmus
RON
LOCKHART
HARRY
LOCKHART
But you know, with magic I'm a slob
Harry and Ron drag Lockhart towards the bathroom
RON
HARRY
LOCKHART
They enter the bathroom and talk to Myrtle. Harry whispers into the sink and the drum roll begins. The entrance appears. Ron pushes
Lockhart down the chute. They land on the bottom and see the snakeskin.
LOCKHART (frightened)
Lockhart tries to use Ron's wand to Obliviate Ron and Harry, but it backfires and the tunnel collapses.
HARRY
Harry discovers the Chamber door and opens it
Every one of my books is just plagiarized
On the cover you see my face
Smiling before I erase
Now I'll use my famous Memory Charm
You've got to help us
Although you're scared
Anybody can see I can't do the job
We found the entrance
We know the facts
He's got my sister
Hid deep inside
Of the Chamber, oh yes, please, we need your help
Now who's to say that they can't be right
I will fight. Who knows who I'll fight?
Seventy who knows what underneath the school
With a tunnel that's dark and filled with a smell
We discovered a snake skin and then I started once again
To get out of this underground hell
Seventy-six boulders plugged the tunnel up
And I'm separated from Lockhart and Ron
Who knows what I'll fight, fight, fight
In the Chamber's yet tonight
But oh well, I must go on!